Where was Rupert? In a state of mind not to be described, he had stolen
away in the dusky night from the mass of faces, the minute he was
released by Mr. Peterby, and made the best of his way out of Barmester,
taking the field way towards the Hold. He felt in a sea of guilt and
shame. To stand there a prisoner, the consciousness of guilt upon
him--for he knew he had set fire to the rick--was as the keenest agony.
When his previous night's passion cooled down, it was replaced by an
awful sense--and the word is not misplaced--of the enormity of his act.
It was a positive fact that he could not remember the details of that
evil moment; but an innate conviction was upon him that he did thrust
the burning brand into the rick and had so revenged himself on Mr.
Chattaway. He turned aghast as he thought of it: in his sober senses he
would be one of the last to commit so great a wickedness--would shudder
at its bare thought. Not only was the weight of the guilt upon his mind,
but a dread of the consequences. Rupert was no hero, and the horror of
the punishment that might follow was working havoc in his brain. If he
had escaped it for this day, he knew sufficient of our laws to be aware
that he might not escape it another, and that Chattaway would prove
implacable. The disgrace of a trial, the brand of felon--all might be
his. Perhaps it was fear as much as shame which took Rupert alone out of
Barmester.
He knew not where to go. He reached the neighbourhood of the Hold,
passed it, and wandered about in the moonlight, sick with hunger, weary
with walking. He began to wish he had gone home with George Ryle; and he
wished he could see George Ryle then, and ask his advice. To the Hold,
to face Chattaway, he dared not yet go; nay, with that consciousness of
guilt upon him, he shrank from facing his kind aunt Edith, his sister
Maude, his aunt Diana. A sudden thought flashed into his mind--and for
the moment it seemed like an inspiration--he would go after Mr. Daw and
beg a shelter with him.
But to get to Mr. Daw, who lived in some unknown region in the Pyrenees,
and had no doubt crossed the Channel, would take money, time, and
strength. As the practical views of the idea came up before him, he
abandoned it in utter despair. Where should he go and what should he do?
He sat down on the stile forming the entrance to a small grove of trees,
through which a near road led to Barbrook; in fact, it was at the end of
that very field in which Mr. Apperley had seen him the previous evening.
Some subtle instinct, perhaps, took his wandering steps to it. As he
leaned against the stile, he became conscious of the advance of some one
along the narrow path leading from Barbrook--a woman, by her petticoats.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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