Sometime after I got light on the one body, I was helping Brothers
Kilpatrick and Speck in a camp-meeting near Essex, Ill. For three days I
was under a severe trial or burden, which became heavier and heavier until
it was unbearable. The worst of my difficulty was that I did not know what
was the matter.
Finally I went to my room, locked the door, threw myself on the bed and
cried, "Lord, you must show me what is the matter; I can't stand this any
longer." Then the Lord began to talk to me in a loving, fatherly,
encouraging way: "This is a battle between God and the devil. Are you
willing to fight in it?" "Yes, Lord," I said, "with all my heart"; and
almost before I could think, the cloud was all gone, the burden had
disappeared, and I was as happy and triumphant as I had ever been. I don't
think I had another test during that meeting.
Through this peculiar experience I learned the difference between
soul-burden and condemnation and between accusation and conviction, as I
had never been able to comprehend it before, although I thought I had
understood this difference measurably well. Many dear souls have been
troubled on these subjects, mistaking soul-burden for condemnation and
accusation for conviction. A clear understanding of the difference between
these soul experiences will save us from many unnecessary trials. I have
been thankful ever since for God's teaching.
While in evangelistic work I had the privilege of attending meetings of
various kinds in many different States. Shortly before the Gospel Trumpet
office was moved to Moundsville, our company attended a camp-meeting at
that place. Brother Clayton's earnest labors were beginning to show some
results, but the work was still quite new. We arrived there the afternoon
before the general meeting began. But little preparation had been made to
accommodate the workers who would be present. My brother George had found a
place to stay, but nothing had been said to me about lodging. Just before
the beginning of the services, a woman came to me and asked if I would go
home with her. I did not feel favorably impressed, and thought I would wait
and see if I should get another invitation. The night services closed, and
no one had yet offered me lodging, so I accepted the woman's invitation. I
had been kept awake two nights on my trip to the meeting, and now I had to
walk a mile before retiring. As we drew near the house, I felt the awful
powers of the enemy coming against my soul. I wondered what kind of place I
was going to, but it was too late to turn back. Although it was ten o'clock
at night, we met the woman's little grandchild out playing, and the child
was by no means in an inviting condition.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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