1. Any white man who has earned and saved one thousand dollars, provided he is honest, industrious and truthful, and is sound in wind, limb, and mind. 2. Any white woman who can cook a square meal, make her own clothes, keep a house clean and play on some musical instrument, provided always that she is pure, lives under some moral standard and will agree to raise her children under it. 3. Every man who is the father of a great man or woman. 4. Every woman who is the mother of a great man or woman. 5. Geniuses, however cranky. 6. The father and mother of a genius. Non-Standard. The following shall be non-standard, and neither they nor their children shall be registered: 1. Old bachelors from choice. 2. Cranks. 3. Liars. 4. The impure. 5. Diseased persons and the children of consumptives, the cancerous and the insane. 6. The children of impure married women. 7. Society people wherever found and their one child. 8. Married men who lead germans. 9. Women who eat onions, drink beer or whiskey, or chew gum. 10. The children of women who play cards for money or for prizes. They keep up the supply of gamblers. 11. Evangelists who preach slang and dirty sermons from the pulpit. 12. Dialect poets. 13. Praying lawyers. 14. Bank cashiers who run Sunday-schools. 15. Doctors who give much medicine and cut people open. 16. The last three ought really to be damned. 17. People who have reached middle age and still say: “I taken,” “You hadn’t ought to,” “I seen him,” and “It is me.” Given under the hand and seal, stamped and delivered by TROTWOOD. Old Wash’s Ma. Editor Trotwood’s: Your writings as they appeared in the Horse Review always appealed to me, especially the “Old Wash” stories, and I remember some years ago that some one was impertinent enough to ask the age of Old Wash. Of course, that fellow wasn’t entitled to an answer, but as I have run across a clipping of an old negro woman whom I am sure must be old Wash’s mother (I hope you can verify it), I want him to look her up. The fact that he felt young enough to marry (the unlucky thirteenth) it might interest him to be able to tell his troubles to his ma. Your magazine is a welcome monthly visitor, and may it always come up to the standard you have planned for it is my earnest wish. Here is the story: Barnum, the great showman, hearing of an old negro woman down in Tennessee who claimed to be 125 years old, called to see her with a view to securing her for a side show. He found that the old woman was really very ancient, and commenced to question to find out just how old she really was. He said to her: “Auntie, do you remember George Washington?” “I reckon I duz, sah; I’se played wid him many a day.”