True Manliness: From the Writings of Thomas HughesHughes, Thomas
Religion
True Manliness: From the Writings of Thomas Hughes
Hughes, Thomas
Conduct of life
“After we had been out about a year we were sent to cruise off Malta,
on the look-out for the French fleet. It was a long business, and the
post wasn’t so good then as it is now. We were sometimes for months
without getting a letter, and knew nothing of what was happening at
home, or anywhere else. We had a sick time too on board, and at last he
got a fever. He bore up against it like a man, and wouldn’t knock off
duty for a long time. He was midshipman of my watch; so I used to make
him turn in early, and tried to ease things to him as much as I could;
but he didn’t pick up, and I began to get very anxious about him. I
talked to the doctor, and turned matters over in my own mind, and at
last I came to think he wouldn’t get any better unless he could sleep
out of the cockpit. So one night, the 20th of October it was—I remember
it well enough, better than I remember any day since; it was a dirty
night, blowing half a gale of wind from the southward, and we were
under close-reefed topsails—I had the first watch, and at nine o’clock
I sent him down to my cabin to sleep there, where he would be fresher
and quieter, and I was to turn into his hammock when my watch was over.
“I was on deck three hours or so after he went down, and the weather
got dirtier and dirtier, and the scud drove by, and the wind sang and
hummed through the rigging—it made me melancholy to listen to it. I
could think of nothing but the youngster down below, and what I should
say to his poor old uncle if anything happened. Well, soon after
midnight I went down and turned into his hammock. I didn’t go to sleep
at once, for I remember very well listening to the creaking of the
ship’s timbers as she rose to the swell, and watching the lamp, which
was slung from the ceiling, and gave light enough to make out the other
hammocks swinging slowly all together. At last, however, I dropped off,
and I reckon I must have been asleep about an hour, when I woke with
a start. For the first moment I didn’t see anything but the swinging
hammocks and the lamp; but then suddenly I became aware that some one
was standing by my hammock, and I saw the figure as plainly as I see
any of you now, for the foot of the hammock was close to the lamp, and
the light struck full across on the head and shoulders, which was all
that I could see of him. There he was, the old Commodore; his grizzled
hair coming out from under a red woollen night cap, and his shoulders
wrapped in an old thread-bare blue dressing-gown which I had often
seen him in. His face looked pale and drawn, and there was a wistful,
disappointed look about the eyes. I was so taken aback I could not
speak, but lay watching him. He looked full at my face once or twice,
but didn’t seem to recognize me; and, just as I was getting back my
tongue and going to speak, he said slowly: ‘Where’s Tom? this is his
hammock. I can’t see Tom;’ and then he looked vaguely about and passed
away somehow, but how I couldn’t see. In a moment or two I jumped out
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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