"Mon," says I, "I'm having a day in London, and I want to see the Members of Parliament and the great lords at work. Maybe the day-shift's having breakfast and not started yet?" The policeman laughed as though I'd made a joke. He said the members weren't working that day, and anyway they didn't start till the afternoon. "Mon," I said, "they must make good money, or they'd never be able to live with so much standing-off time." "They don't do so bad," says the policeman, with another laugh; and I walked up a road called Whitehall, though I couldn't see anything white about it, unless it was the faces of the wee lassies hurrying to work. Then I went into a park and sat down and had a rest and a smoke. Maybe I dozed for awhile, for when I got out into that same Whitehall again something wonderful seemed to have happened. It was all noise and rush, and I was saluting officers until my arm ached. Then I crossed the road a bit, and after having been nearly run over twice, turned down a side-street and lost myself. III--ON THE WAY TO PICCADILLY Presently I saw what looked like a kindly old gentleman, and I asked him the way to Piccadilly. "You'd better take the Tube," says he. "There's a station just over there." "Tube!" says I, doubtful like. "What's that?" "An underground railway," says he, hurrying off. "You'll get to Piccadilly Circus in a few minutes." He was an awfu' liar, that mon! Why, it was ten minutes before I got ma ticket! There were penny-in-the-slot machines besides the little windows; but I don't trust them. There seemed to be about half-a-dozen railways running into the place, and there were maps with all the colours o' the rainbow to show you how to get to places; but as I didn't know where I was, or whether I was on a green or a brown line, they didn't help me much. I looked at the pictures and I looked at the pert lassies in uniform clippin' tickets an' all. I didn't like bothering them with questions, but at last I got to a window and asked for Piccadilly. "Penny," says the girl. "Aye," says I, and I put down ma rifle, not meaning to hurt the foot of the fussy mon behind me. "Is there any reduction for a return?" says I, having been brought up never to waste the bawbees. "No," she snapped. "Penny's the fare. Hurry up, please!" "Yes, do," growled out the mon behind, hopping about on one foot and I saw it was true about a crowd quickly gathering in London--for just in the little time I'd been talking there were dozens of people waiting in a line. "I'll have to get at ma purse," says I, starting to search ma pockets. "Losh! I believe I have it in ma pack! Will ye give us a hand with these straps, laddie?" "Oh, I'll pay your fare," says the man behind me; and no doubt he meant it kindly, though his way was rough. Well, I puts ma ticket in ma pocket and walks a little way. Then one of the wee lassies with clippers stops me and wants ma ticket. "Hold ma rifle, lassie," says I, "so as I can get it."