"At the derisory charge of four-and-six for the night. As a business man, I believe in striking while the iron is hot. Indeed, while we are on the subject, I may mention that I have ordered the bills. _Professor and Madame St. Maw_--my Arabella will, I know, forgive my reverting to the name under which she won her maiden laurels--it cost me a pang, my dear Smiles, to reflect that the fame to be won here, the honour of having popularised HIM, here on the confines of his native Arden, will never be associated with the name of Mortimer. _Sic vos non vobis_, as the Mantuan has poignantly observed. But for the sake of the children-- and, by the way, how do my bantlings find themselves this morning? Tol-lollish, I trust?--for the sake of the children it was necessary, as we used to say with the Pytchley, to obscure 'the scent. Talking of scent, Smiles, it might be advisable--what with the superphosphates and the onions--to take some counteracting steps, which your ingenuity may be able to suggest. The superphosphates especially are--er--potent. And, by one of those coincidences we meet, perhaps, oftener than we note, Mr. Tench's initial is 'S'--standing for Samuel." Mr. Mortimer extracted an egg from his basket and rubbed it with his bandanna thoughtfully before passing it down to his wife. "So you've been an' ordered the bills too?" murmured Mr. Bossom. "And what will the bills run to?--if, as the treasurer, I may make so bold." "To the sum of five shillings precisely, which will, of course, be hypothecated as a first charge upon our takings, and which I ask you, my dear Smiles, as treasurer to debit to that account in due form, here and now." It would have been hard to conceive any manner more impressively business-like than Mr. Mortimer's as he made this demand. "You will excuse my putting it so plainly, Smiles, but I may venture a guess that in the matter of conducting a theatrical tour you are, comparatively speaking, a tiro?" "I've got to account to 'Ucks, if that's what you mean," Sam assented. "The bill, Smiles, is the theatrical agent's first thought; the beginning which is notoriously half the battle. For three-inch lettering--and to that I restricted myself--five shillings can only be called dirt cheap. Listen--" PROFESSOR AND MADAME ST. MAUR, OF THE LEADING LONDON THEATRES PART I.--WITH VOICE AND LUTE, A POT-POURRI PART II.--AN HOUR WITH THE BEST DRAMATISTS THE WHOLE TO CONCLUDE WITH THAT SIDE-SPLITTING DUOLOGUE ENTITLED, 'COURTSHIP IN THE RAIN' PASSION WITH REFINEMENT AND MIRTH WITHOUT VULGARITY _Reserved Seats, One Shilling. Unreserved, Sixpence._ _Gallery (limited), Threepence only_ DOORS OPEN AT 7.30; TO COMMENCE AT 8. CARRIAGES AT HALF-PAST TEN "Why carriages?" asked Mr. Bossom. "It's the usual thing," answered Mr. Mortimer.