He was pregnant with his idea. He rose from his bed betimes. He breathed
a strangely fragrant air. He looked at the beautiful world. He wrote. He
mentioned his little employment to no one: he felt rather ashamed of it,
in fact; but it infatuated him. He encountered some awful tough spots,
and at times he almost despaired--but he could not give up. Something
within him, which he himself was conscious he did not understand,
tortured him to go on. All day long, while at his business, his meals,
his shaving, his story turned and twisted and talked in the back of his
head. Despair alternated with exultation. At hours there came a gusto to
his work; words that he had heard or read, forgotten and never used,
came back to him from heaven knows where, and sprang to his pen at the
felicitous instance. He felt that his mind was more alert than he
remembered it to have ever been; he felt that his eyes were brighter;
his hands, his whole right arm, felt strong. He knew as he worked that
this was character, and this was sentiment, and this was humor. He was
shaken by the respiration of a heady drama. He felt that this--was
almost genius! And he was aghast that he had lived such a dull life
hitherto when this capacity had been in him.
He possessed little theoretic knowledge of writing; his story grew
naturally, like a tree: he was intelligent, and he had a story to tell
which must be told. In the matter of technical construction he followed
in a general way, intuitively, unconsciously for the most part, without
elaborate examination, the form of a short story as he was acquainted
with it through his reading of stories. He wandered alone at night,
oblivious of anything else, thinking, thinking his story over; and he
felt good in his brain and in his heart and in his stomach. He felt
virile, elated, full of power, and strangely happy. The joy of creating
a thing of art was upon him. Thrills ran down his spine and into his
legs; he would grin to himself in the dark streets; and sometimes he
laughed aloud. Everything else he neglected. He could not even read the
newspapers; he stayed at home two days from business; he worked early
and late, and walked up and down, throbbing, meantimes.
The story was almost finished. The story _was finished_. What would
Louise say? Would she think that he ought not to have written, ought not
to make public, so intimate a history? Then in the story he had carried
things further than they were in fact: the artistic instinct had
formally plighted the lovers' troth. He thought of submitting his
manuscript without showing it to Louise. Would it not be fine for her to
discover the story in print! But Keyes had to read that story to someone
or blow up.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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