“By the way, Mr. Marshal, my house is turning out a new encyclopedia in twelve volumes. Do you think I could do any business here in that line?” He said the best way was to try. I explained all about the encyclopedia, stating that I only called on the upper ten, because they alone appreciated the best books. We usually only made the larger cities, but this was such a metropolitan little place I thought I might get enough orders to justify a shipment and to pay the expense of the write-up I was making. Would he kindly give me the names of the most prominent people? He not only gave me the names, but told me to go ahead; that no one should bother me. I made one hundred and seven dollars in that town, and went away with as large a smile on my face as the one the marshal wore while I was writing up his life. I also found it a good idea to be supplied with a stock of jokes which could be used to fit almost any occasion. I had a natural sense of the ludicrous, anyway; and if I came across anything in the comic papers which might be of value I did not hesitate to salt it down for future use. As an instance of application, the following: I dropped into a millinery store after an order for the encyclopedia. When I had spoken for a few moments to the proprietress, telling her that the book was full, complete and unabridged, treating of every subject that could be known or mentioned, she asked me jokingly if it had any good cooking recipes. “Why, certainly,” I answered; “I’ll read you a few of them.” TO MAKE CLEAR SOUP. Take two pints of water, wash thoroughly on both sides, pour into a deep dish, and stir around in the kitchen until tired. STOMACH CAKE. Line a small boy with green apples and cucumbers. This can be prepared on short notice. LEMON PIE. Line a pie tin with puff paste, put in your lemons, build a lattice over the top and bake three weeks. CALVES’ FOOT JELLY. Get trusted for a Chicago calf—they have the largest feet. Cut off the calf, which can be used for making hash or chicken salad, add a few molasses, strain through a cane-bottom chair, pour in a blue bowl with pictures on it, set it in the shade to get tough, and then send to a friend contemplating suicide. I have heard that the female sex are deficient in the sense of humor, but the milliner laughed heartily at these jokes, which happened to be new to her, and signed the contract for a set without a struggle. Virtually I was in the book business for over nine years, in which time I handled scarcely anything else.