“Judson was no sooner on board the vessel than his rogue’s nature began to show itself. He conceived a sudden ambition to become a bold pirate, and concocted a scheme to murder all the officers, take command of the vessel, turn it into an ocean rover, and kill and plunder on the high seas. “He found among the crew plenty of willing hands to join him in the conspiracy, and it was settled among them that those who would not agree to come under the black flag were to be quietly murdered and their bodies thrown overboard. “The scheme was about ripe for consummation when it was discovered by Captain Shortliff. Judson and his first lieutenant were placed in irons, while the principal officers of the frigate held a consultation concerning what course it was best for them to pursue. “It was decided that the best thing to insure the vessel’s safety was to hang the two rogues, and this, accordingly, was done. “Two months later, having arrived at headquarters, the captain gave himself over to the naval authorities, reporting the fearful adventure. “He was court martialed, but later on it was decided under the circumstances he could have taken no other course, and the court fully exonerated him. “Based upon these facts, General Roberts, who was a personal friend of Shortliff, wrote his most realistic novel. Now, don’t you think you would like to read all about the “Two Pirates?” Customer.—“The story is extremely interesting, but—you’ll be around again, won’t you?” Agent.—“No, I never make a second call on the same man. You know the old saying, ‘Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.’” Customer.—“Oh, there are a great many old sayings. We don’t have to follow them.” Agent.—“Well, then, laying all jokes aside, I’ll tell you what I’ll do. You can’t blame me for trying to get business when there is an opportunity in sight. If you’ll give me your order without any more labor, I’ll cut the payments to twenty-five cents per week. You see, our regular payments are one fifty a month, but I’ll just put it down to one dollar. That will give you a whole year to pay in, without any interest. Of course, I wouldn’t want you to mention it; but I’ll do it, just to make sure of a quick sale. I know if I can once get started I can hold you as a good customer in the future.” Customer.—“Well, I guess I can stand a quarter a week. Put my name down.”