That settled it, and he raked me right and left. He said I needn't judge him from my shirtless experience at Fort Wayne (which I had related to him), and that he always paid his wash bill. He then reminded me that only for him and his money a few weeks before, I would have gone without laundered shirts many a day. "Yes," said I, "and only for me where would you be eating now?" "Great ----!" he ejaculated. "You cussed, impudent Arab! Who got you this job?" "You did," I replied; "but only for your beautiful figure and winning ways catching the eye of the land----" "Shut up! shut up!" he yelled. "Don't you open your infernal head again." Then I apologized, and said: "Well, Doctor, you have satisfied me that you don't owe your washerwoman, so I'll take the bet you offered to make. And," I added, "I'll bet another cigar she won't let you in the house unless you have a bundle of washing along, and show her that you have a legitimate right to call on her." This exasperated him again, and made him more determined than ever to show us what he could do. He selected a bracket, and started for the washerwoman, who lived directly back of the hotel, on another street. It fifteen minutes to twelve o'clock when he started. About noon one of the kitchen girls came running to the office, and called me to come quick to the back door. I hastened, and to my astonishment found the Doctor, under the greatest excitement. No spectacles on, his hat gone, a large piece torn from his fine swallow-tailed coat, and to all appearances he had just emerged from the sewer. "Great Heavens! Doctor; what is up?" I asked. "Don't say a word! don't say a word!" he cried. "Get me to my room, quick, before any one sees me." "Where is your hat?" I asked. "Over to the washerwoman's," he gasped. "And your cane--what has become----" "Great Heavens! sure enough," he interrupted. "I forgot that. It's on her table. And my spectacles--the Lord knows where they are! But get me out of this, quick; and hurry over there and fix it." "Fix what?" I asked. "What did she say, Doctor?" "Good! all I heard her say was: 'What will my poor Mike do for his dinner?' and then she--never mind what she said, but hurry up." I then said to him: "Doctor, you go right through the dining room and on up-stairs to your room, and I'll go over and see if I can find what there is left of you." He asked if there were no back stairs. I said yes, but they were very dark. I then led him to the back stair-way, and offered to accompany him to his room. But he said I should hurry over there and fix things. So, after explaining to him the back-stair route to his room, I was about to close the door on him, when he placed his hand on his head and said: "My! just feel of this bunch. And I guess my hat is ruined, Hurry over and see about it, quick."