Nobody laughed, so I told another. It was about an old gentleman going out to sell stove-pipe brackets. Everybody laughed but the Doctor. I then said: "Doctor, let's hear from you, now." He was too full for utterance, and as I very well knew, would have given considerable for a chance to express himself. After supper he called me out on the porch and said he just expected every minute that I was going to mention his name in connection with that peddling story, and it was well I didn't. "Well, Doctor, I didn't mean you at all." "The d----l you didn't! I wonder who you meant, if not me." I then said: "I see you are having a nice time. Nice girl, you have taken a fancy to; but I was introduced to her before you were." "Well, it doesn't make any difference about that," he answered. "She will have nothing to do with you." "Why not?" "Because I told her you were a married man, and that settled it." "Oh, ho! I see, Doctor. I see you were afraid I would out-shine you, weren't you?" "Not much, sir; not much. I know what she thinks of me, and just how well I stand in her estimation. She is a rich man's daugh----". "Yes," I interrupted, "and she will never speak to you, after to-night." "She will, unless you tell some of your infernal yarns and connect me with them; and if you do, I'll--I'll----" "But, Doctor," I said, hastily, "what will the landlady say, when she gets home and sees how things are going?" "Oh, you cussed idiot!" he screamed. "Do you think she has a string tied to me? What do you s'pose I care for her? Is she any comparison to this young lady?" "No, I suppose not; but, Doctor, you are fooled in this girl; and I'll bet you didn't tell her about my being married till after supper." "What makes you think that?" "Well, I noticed that she kept looking at me all the time we were eating." "No such a ---- thing. _I_ know she was looking at me. I _know_ she was. And another thing I know----" "Yes," I put in, "and another thing _I_ know." "What's that?" "Well, sir, while we were at the table she kept her feet pressing against my feet all the time." "Oh, you idiot! Those were my feet that were pressing against yours." "Then if you knew they were mine, why did you keep pushing yours against them all the time?" Under much excitement he answered: "Because--because, sir, I--I--I thought I would have a little fun with you. That's why." "Yes; because you thought they were the girl's feet. That's why." Then assuming his usual dramatic attitude, and striking his breast with his clinched fist, he cried out: "Johnston, if you cast any imputation against the character of this young lady, you will have to answer to me, sir. Now remember what I tell you." "Well, Doctor, you had better go in and resume dancing. You are losing lots of fun." "Yes," he quickly answered. "I know I am; I know I am. This is what _I_ get for introducing you into society."