Twenty Years of Hus'lingJohnston, J. P. (James Perry)
General
Twenty Years of Hus'ling
Johnston, J. P. (James Perry)
Business; Johnston, J. P. (James Perry), 1852-
When we had about half finished our meal another gentleman came rushing
up to the counter, and noticing several nicely roasted whole quail ready
to serve said:
"Give me one of those quail."
As the waiter handed it over he produced some change and asked how much
it was.
"One dollar, sir," replied the waiter.
"Don't want it, don't want it, sir. I'll go up town and eat," and off he
went.
"Great ----!" screamed the Doctor, hopping about in his customary frisky,
jumping-jack style, and dropping the piece of quail he held in his
fingers. "I shouldn't think he would want it. Why, Great Heavens! Great
----! Who ever heard of such a ---- outrage. Think of it, Johnston, a
dollar for one of those ---- little quail, and they are hardly fit to
eat. See here, waiter, do you think I am going to pay one dollar for a
quail? I want you to understand I am from Indiana, and _I know_ what
quail are worth by the dozen. Why, you infernal robbers, they can be
bought not a hundred miles from here for one dollar a dozen, and they
won't have been dead three months, either. Gentlemen, you have struck
the wrong man for once, indeed you have. I am no ---- fool; besides----"
"Yes," I interrupted, addressing the waiter, "besides, this gentleman
used to wait on table himself in a hotel in Michigan, didn't you,
Doctor?"
By this time several people had gathered around. He looked somewhat
embarrassed for a moment, but instantly recovering himself and striking
the lunch-counter with his fist, very excitedly cried out:
"No, sir; not by a ---- sight I don't have to wait table; if I did I'd
not work for a man who would dish up a tainted old quail worth eight
cents and charge a dollar for it. Why, ---- it, Johnston, just think of
it--a dollar a dozen in Indiana and a dollar apiece here."
"But, Doctor, go on and finish your meal. You seemed to be enjoying it a
little while ago, and spoke of the quail being very nice; and I am
certain you haven't more than half finished. Go ahead and eat."
"Oh, eat be ----! I'm not hungry, and if I were I'd eat something besides
quail at twelve dollars a dozen. Good ----! If a quail comes to a dollar
what in ---- nation do you suppose they'll charge for a full meal? It's
---- robbery, and I'll not be robbed by them. I'll go down town and eat,
as that other man did."
"But, Doctor, what are you going to do? You have eaten about half of
that quail, and I can't see how you expect to fix it."
"Well, if quail are in such great demand as to be worth a dollar apiece,
they will surely have use for any part of one, and if they wish to take
back what I have not eaten, and give me credit for it, I'll settle for
the balance. Otherwise I'll stand a lawsuit; for, ---- it, Johnston, I
tell you I can buy them by the car-load in Indiana for one dollar a----"
"All aboard going east!" shouted the conductor, and, quickly settling my
bill and bidding the Doctor good-bye, I left him and the waiter to
settle the quail question.
CHAPTER XXVIII.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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