Ghosts -- Fiction; Invalids -- Fiction; Women authors -- Fiction
She could not let the man go back until she had read and answered
Gabriel’s letter. She made him drive back with her to Carbies, seated on
the box beside the driver. She held the precious package tight, but did
not open it. For that she must be alone.
Stanton’s man was handed over to the household’s care for lunch or tea.
He was to go back by the 5.5. “Mr. Gabriel” had given him his
instructions.
Now she was at her writing-table and alone. The packet was sealed with
sealing-wax. Inside there were all her own letters, and a closed
envelope superscribed in the dear familiar handwriting. She tore it
open. After she had read her lover’s letter she had no more reproaches
for him, vague or otherwise.
_My Own, my Beloved:_—
Here are the letters. I could refuse you nothing, but to part from
these has overwhelmed me, weakened me. I have turned coward. For it
is all so unknown. I am in the dark, bewildered. Your wire was an
awful shock. I am haunted with terror, the harder to bear because it
came in the midst of all the sweet sacred thoughts and remembrances
of a wonderful week-end, of the things you said or allowed me to say
which filled me with high hopes, promise of joy and happiness I
dared hardly dwell upon. I don’t know what has happened. I only know
you must not be alone and have forbidden me to come to you. Rescind
your decision, I implore you. As I think and think with restless
brain and heart my great ache and anxiety are that you are in
trouble and that I am away and useless, just when I would give my
soul for the chance of standing by you and with you in any need and
for always. By all the remembrance of our happy hours, by all the
new and sweet happiness you have given me, by all I yearn for in the
future give me this chance. Let me come to you. To think of you
suffering alone is maddening. Trust me, give me your trust, solemnly
I swear not to fail you whatever may happen. It is of you only I am
thinking. I can be strong for _you_, wise for _you_, and should
thank God, both in pride and humbleness, for the chance to serve
you; to serve you with reverence and love. _Send for me._ Tell
me—let me share all and always.
Devotedly yours,
G. S.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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