Ghosts -- Fiction; Invalids -- Fiction; Women authors -- Fiction
“You are lovely in everything you wear. You need never trouble to
change. Think what a fatigue it will be. I want you to rest.”
“How serious you are! I was not in earnest, not quite in earnest. But I
can’t wait to show you a teagown, all lacy and transparent, made of
chiffon and mist....”
“Grey mist?”
“Yes.”
“I love you in grey.”
She laughed:
“You have had no opportunity of loving me in any other colour. Not
indoors at least. But you will. I could not have a one-coloured
trousseau. I’ve a wonderful beige walking-dress; one in blue serge,
lined with chiffon....”
“Tell me of your wedding-dress. Only a week today....” Before she had
told him her stepmother bustled in, her arms full of parcels that
Margaret must unpack, investigate, try on immediately after dinner, or
before. Dinner could wait. Margaret had already been tried on and tried
on until her head swam. She yielded again and Gabriel and her father
waited for dinner.
Nothing was as they had planned it. So, although they were too happy to
complain, and too grateful to resent what was being done for them, the
scheme that Margaret should return to Carbies without again announcing
her intention was hurriedly confirmed between them and carried out.
* * * * *
This time Margaret did not complain that the place was remote, the
garden desolate, the furniture ill-sorted and ill-suited. She was glad
to find herself anchored as it were in a quiet back-water, out of the
hurly-burly, able to hear herself breathe. Wednesday she spent in
resting, dreaming. She went to bed early.
Thursday found her at her writing-desk, sorting, re-sorting, reading
those early letters of hers, and of his; recapturing a mood. She
recognised that in those early days she had not been quite genuine, that
her letters did not ring as true as his. She saw there was a literary
quality in them that detracted from their value. Yet, taking herself
seriously, as always, and remembering the Brownings, she put them all in
orderly sequence, made attempts at a title, in the event of their ever
being published, wrote up her disingenuous diary. All that day, all
Thursday and part of Friday, she rediscovered her fine style, her gift
of phrase. The thing that held her was her own wonderful and beautiful
love story. And it was of that she wrote. She knew she would make her
mark upon the literature of the nineteenth century, had no doubt of it
at all. She had done much already. She rated highly her three or four
novels, her two plays. Unhappiness had dulled her gift, but today she
felt how wondrously it would be revived. There are epigrams among her
MS. notes.
“All his life he had kept his emotions soldered up in tin boxes, now he
was surprised that they were like little fish, compressed and without
life.” This was tried in half a dozen ways but never seemed to please
her.
“Happiness, true happiness, holds the senses in solution, it requires
matrimony to diffuse them.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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