Domestic fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Upper class -- Fiction
Nona sat on the south terrace in the sun. The Cedarledge experiment had
lasted eight days now, and she had to own that it had turned out better
than she would have thought possible.
Lita was giving them wonderfully little trouble. After the first flight
to Greenwich she had shown no desire for cabarets and night-clubs, but
had plunged into the alternative excitement of violent outdoor sports;
relapsing, after hours of hard exercise, into a dreamy lassitude
unruffled by outward events. She never spoke of her husband, and Nona
did not know if Jim's frequent--too frequent--letters, were answered, or
even read. Lita smiled vaguely when he was mentioned, and merely
remarked, when her mother-in-law once risked an allusion to the future:
"I thought we were here to be cured of plans." And Pauline effaced her
blunder with a smile.
Nona herself felt more and more like one of the trench-watchers pictured
in the war-time papers. There she sat in the darkness on her narrow
perch, her eyes glued to the observation-slit which looked out over
seeming emptiness. She had often wondered what those men thought about
during the endless hours of watching, the days and weeks when nothing
happened, when no faintest shadow of a skulking enemy crossed their span
of no-man's land. What kept them from falling asleep, or from losing
themselves in waking dreams, and failing to give warning when the attack
impended? She could imagine a man led out to be shot in the Flanders mud
because, at such a moment, he had believed himself to be dozing on a
daisy bank at home...
Since her talk with Aggie Heuston a sort of _curare_ had entered into her
veins. She was sharply aware of everything that was going on about her,
but she felt unable to rouse herself. Even if anything that mattered
ever did happen again, she questioned if she would be able to shake off
the weight of her indifference. Was it really ten days now since that
talk with Aggie? And had everything of which she had then been warned
fulfilled itself without her lifting a finger? She dimly remembered
having acted in what seemed a mood of heroic self-denial; now she felt
only as if she had been numb. What was the use of fine motives if, once
the ardour fallen, even they left one in the lurch?
She thought: "I feel like the oldest person in the world, and yet with
the longest life ahead of me ..." and a shiver of loneliness ran over
her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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