“I never thought of that,” I whispered back, even more appalled than
before at the closeness of the shave, and marvelling at that something
unyielding in his character which was carrying him through so finely.
There was no agitation in his whisper. Whoever was being driven
distracted, it was not he. He was sane. And the proof of his sanity was
continued when he took up the whispering again.
“It would never do for me to come to life again.”
It was something that a ghost might have said. But what he was alluding
to was his old captain’s reluctant admission of the theory of suicide.
It would obviously serve his turn—if I had understood at all the view
which seemed to govern the unalterable purpose of his action.
“You must maroon me as soon as ever you can get amongst these islands off
the Cambodje shore,” he went on.
“Maroon you! We are not living in a boy’s adventure tale,” I protested.
His scornful whispering took me up.
“We aren’t indeed! There’s nothing of a boy’s tale in this. But there’s
nothing else for it. I want no more. You don’t suppose I am afraid of
what can be done to me? Prison or gallows or whatever they may please.
But you don’t see me coming back to explain such things to an old fellow
in a wig and twelve respectable tradesmen, do you? What can they know
whether I am guilty or not—or of _what_ I am guilty, either? That’s my
affair. What does the Bible say? ‘Driven off the face of the earth.’
Very well. I am off the face of the earth now. As I came at night so I
shall go.”
“Impossible!” I murmured. “You can’t.”
“Can’t? . . . Not naked like a soul on the Day of Judgment. I shall
freeze on to this sleeping-suit. The Last Day is not yet—and you have
understood thoroughly. Didn’t you?”
I felt suddenly ashamed of myself. I may say truly that I understood—and
my hesitation in letting that man swim away from my ship’s side had been
a mere sham sentiment, a sort of cowardice.
“It can’t be done now till next night,” I breathed out. “The ship is on
the off-shore tack and the wind may fail us.”
“As long as I know that you understand,” he whispered. “But of course
you do. It’s a great satisfaction to have got somebody to understand.
You seem to have been there on purpose.” And in the same whisper, as if
we two whenever we talked had to say things to each other which were not
fit for the world to hear, he added, “It’s very wonderful.” We remained
side by side talking in our secret way—but sometimes silent or just
exchanging a whispered word or two at long intervals. And as usual he
stared through the port. A breath of wind came now and again into our
faces. The ship might have been moored in dock, so gently and on an even
keel she slipped through the water, that did not murmur even at our
passage, shadowy and silent like a phantom sea.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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