"One can never judge of another's case by one's own," answers Lady
Etwynde. "No doubt you were tried, hurried into it. I know, oh! I
know. You are not the first girl who has told me the same, nor will
you be the last. The mothers of Society do it all for the best,
doubtless. Love seems such a poor, contemptible thing in their eyes
in comparison with--settlements. Oh, yes! that is so always.
Perhaps they forget their own youth; one does, they say, when one
outlives romance. And I suppose an 'Establishment' is better than
poetry any day. They are wise, after all. Year after year the
season has its martyrs. Girls are brought out and introduced with no
higher aim or object set before them than a 'great marriage.'
Fashion and Society expect it. I suppose it is what they were born
for! Thank God! my parents were neither ambitious nor mercenary.
Perhaps I too might have been over-persuaded. I don't think it
likely. Still---"
She hesitates and looks compassionately at Lauraine's sad face. "You
must try and be brave, dear, and bear your life as it is. Regrets,
repining, sorrowing won't make it any better. You say you are weak,
but I don't think you are so weak as all that. And there is one
thing I have wanted to say to you of late. You will pardon me if it
seems intrusive. But, do you know you are behaving very coldly, and,
I think, unwisely, towards your husband? You leave him alone, to
other temptations that your presence would restrain. All these
months you have not seen him, you scarcely even write with more
warmth or interest than you do to your steward; and, after all, he is
your husband. Nothing can alter that; and he loved you very dearly,
and no doubt he does still. Can you not see that your duty to him
demands even more than the sacrifice you have already made? I know
it is hard, terribly hard. You say there is no sympathy, no
comprehension between you, and your heart is aching with this
forbidden love, and he must seem in a way hateful; but you were not
honest with him quite, if you promised to marry him, and yet held
back your heart. You see what I mean?"
"Yes," Lauraine says faintly, "I see."
"Duty demands much, but it also repays much,", continues Lady Etwynde
gently. "Heaven knows I am not fit to preach to you; but in the
world, as we know it, Lauraine, there are so many faithless wives, so
many divided households. Oh, my dear, don't you add to the number!
You have many enemies of whom you know nothing, and they would gladly
seize your name, and smirch its purity with scandals, and whispers,
and evil words. I want you to be brave, and face them all, and live
out your life nobly and well. I know I am bidding you do a hard
thing; but it is right, and I am sure you see it."
Lauraine bends her head down wearily, and lays it on her friend's
shoulder. She feels spent, tired, exhausted. The tears throng to
her eyes, her heart aches with dull and ceaseless pain. "I do see
it!" she half sobs. "I will try."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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