She sits quite silent, her hands busy with some crewel-work that she
is doing. Mrs. Bradshaw B. Woollffe is paying her a morning visit.
Lady Jean has fled at the first approach of the enemy, and so
Lauraine has to entertain her alone. Mrs. Woollffe talks on, on; but
her listener hears nothing of what she says. Her thoughts are only
with the man whose life she has wrecked. Her storm-shattered heart
aches and throbs with memories freshly brought to life. She has done
what was right; she has severed her life from his, but if it makes
him evil, desperate, hopeless; if it sends him to profligate men and
bad women, if his bright young manhood is laid waste and desolate,
was it, could it be right, after all?
Her influence, her presence, had always been a restraint upon him,
and she had denied him both--cast him out to the fire of temptations,
the recklessness of despair.
It was a horrible thought; no one knows how horrible save a woman
whose soul is pure, whose heart is passionate, who sees the life she
loves and fain would bless, pass out and away from her keeping, and
knows that it is beyond her power to recall or claim its fidelity;
who sees it lose itself in evil, and seek forgetfulness in wild and
feverish excitements, and knows that a word, one little word might
have held it back and kept it safe and unharmed.
"I must not think of it, I _must_ not," she says to herself in scorn;
and she looks up from the tangled crewels and tries to interest
herself in Mrs. Bradshaw Woollffe's gossip, and promises to drive
with her in the Lichtenthal Allée, forgetful of Lady Jean's disgust.
"Well, I'll go," says her loquacious friend at last. "Guess I've got
heaps of shopping to do this morning, and Nan will be that cross for
keeping her waiting! Good-bye, my dear; good-bye. Hope I haven't
tired you. Four o'clock then."
The door closes; Lauraine is alone. She sinks wearily back in her
chair. The silks and canvas fall unheeded to the floor. She is
afraid of this new pain that has come to her--this jealous hatred and
horror of the woman who is holding Keith in her evil bondage. Her
strength seems all fled. The long, empty, colourless days that
stretch before her, that have to be lived through, look doubly dreary
in this hour. "I thought the worst bitterness of my cup had passed
my lips," she moans. "I had not thought of this."
Her husband had asked her carelessly about Keith, and she had spoken
of that brief meeting in the Tyrolean valley. Sir Francis had not
heard of his being at Baden at all. A sort of dread comes over her
as she thinks of the chance of other meetings, of the added pain that
each fresh account of his actions may bring her. He had, indeed,
known how to make her suffer, and the suffering could have no anodyne
now.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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