She paused for an explanation; but she did not straggle to escape from him. "Frightened; beat; run to earth myself, though I talked so bravely of running others to earth just now. Grace, I've been in prison!" "In prison? In a Russian prison? Oh, Mr. Thurnall!" "Ay, Grace, I'd tried everything but that; and I could not stand it. Death was a joke to that. Not to be able to get out!--To rage up and down for hours like a wild beast; long to fly at one's gaoler and tear his heart out;--beat one's head against the wall in the hope of knocking one's brains out;--anything to get rid of that horrid notion, night and day over one--I can't get out!" Grace had never seen him so excited. "But you are safe now," said she soothingly. "Oh, those horrid Russians!" "But it was not Russians!--If it had been, I could have borne it.--That was all in my bargain,--the fair chance of war: but to be shut up by a mistake!--at the very outset, too--by a boorish villain of a khan, on a drunken suspicion;--a fellow whom I was trying to serve, and who couldn't, or wouldn't, or daren't understand me--Oh, Grace, I was caught in my own trap! I went out full blown with self-conceit. Never was any one so cunning as I was to be!--Such a game as I was going to play, and make my fortune by it!--And this brute to stop me short--to make a fool of me--to keep me there eighteen months threatening to cut my head off once a quarter, and wouldn't understand me, let me talk with the tongue of the old serpent!" "He didn't stop you: God stopped you!" "You're right, Grace; I saw that at last! I found out that I had been trying for years which was the stronger, God or I; I found out I had been trying whether I could not do well enough without Him: and there I found that I could not, Grace;--could not! I felt like a child who had marched off from home, fancying it can find its way, and is lost at once. I felt like a lost child in Australia once, for one moment: but not as I felt in that prison; for I had not heard you, Grace, then. I did not know that I had a Father in heaven, who had been looking after me, when I fancied that I was looking after myself;--I don't half believe it now--If I did, I should not have lost my nerve as I have done!--Grace, I dare hardly stir about now, lest some harm should come to me. I fancy at every turn, what if that chimney fell? what if that horse kicked out?--and, Grace, you, and you only, can cure me of my new cowardice. I said in that prison, and all the way home,--if I can but find her!--let me but see her--ask her--let her teach me; and I shall be sure! Let her teach me, and I shall be brave again! Teach me, Grace! and forgive me!" Grace was looking at him with her great soft eyes opening slowly, like a startled hind's, as if the wonder and delight were too great to be taken in at once. The last words unlocked her lips. "Forgive you? What! Do you forgive me?"