she had made her toy, almost her butt, was to have them brought down
unexpectedly and painfully to her own level. If this was his ideal, why
ought it not to be hers? Was she not his equal, perhaps his superior?
And so her very pride humbled her, as she said to herself,--"Then I
ought to be useful. I can be;--will be!"
"Lucia," asked she, that very afternoon, "will you let me take the
children off your hands while Clara is busy in the morning?"
"Oh, you dear good creature? but it would be such a _gêne_! They are
really stupid, I am afraid sometimes, or else I am. They make me so
miserably cross at times."
"I will take them. It would be a relief to you, would it not?"
"My clear!" said poor Lucia, with a doleful smile, which seemed to
Valencia's self-accusing heart to say, "Have you only now discovered
that fact?"
From that day Valencia courted Headley's company more and more. To fall
in love with him was of course absurd; and he had cured himself of his
passing fancy for her. There could be no harm, then, in her making the
most of conversation so different from what she heard in the world, and
which in her heart of hearts she liked so much better. For it was with
Valencia as with all women; in this common fault of frivolity, as in
most others, the men rather than they are to blame. Valencia had
cultivated in herself those qualities which she saw admired by the men
whom she met, and some one of whom, of course, she meant to marry; and
as their female ideal was a butterfly ideal, a butterfly she became. But
beneath all lay, deep and strong, the woman's love of nobleness and
wisdom, the woman's longing to learn and to be led, which has shown
itself in every age in so many a fantastic and even ugly shape, and
which is their real excuse for the flirting with, "geniuses," casting
themselves at the feet of directors; which had tempted her to coquette
with Elsley, and was now bringing her into "undesirable" intimacy with
the poor curate.
She had heard that day, with some sorrow, his announcement that he
wished to be gone; but as he did not refer to it again, she left the
thought alone, and all but forgot it. The subject, however, was renewed
about a week afterwards. "When you return to Aberalva," she had said, in
reference to some commission.
"I shall never return to Aberalva."
"Not return?"
"No; I have already resigned the curacy. I believe your uncle has
appointed to it the man whom Campbell found for me: and an excellent
man, I hear, he is. At least, he will do better there than I."
"But what could have induced you? How sorry all the people will be!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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