more you piqued yourself on your nerve in carrying the thing through
without a hitch.
“I don’t want to put you entirely out of conceit with your performance.
It was very creditable for a beginner, very creditable indeed. But let
me tell you, this idea of things being horrible and revolting is all
illusion. The terms are purely relative to your limited perceptions.
“I’m speaking now to your intelligence—I don’t mean that practical
ingenuity which enabled you to dispose of me so neatly. When I say
intelligence I mean intelligence. All you did, then, was to redistribute
matter. To our incorruptible sense matter never takes any of those
offensive forms in which it so often appears to you. Nature has evolved
all this horror and repulsion just to prevent people from making too
many little experiments like yours. You mustn’t imagine that these
things have any eternal importance. Don’t flatter yourself you’ve
electrified the universe. For minds no longer attached to flesh and
blood, that horrible butchery you were so proud of, Steven, is simply
silly. No more terrifying than the spilling of red ink or the
rearrangement of a jig-saw puzzle. I saw the whole business, and I can
assure you I felt nothing but intense amusement. Your face, Steven, was
so absurdly serious. You’ve no idea what you looked like with that
chopper. I’d have appeared to you then and told you so, only I knew I
should frighten you into fits.
“And there’s another grand mistake, my lad—your thinking that I’m
haunting you out of revenge, that I’m trying to frighten you.... My dear
Steven, if I’d wanted to frighten you I’d have appeared in a very
different shape. I needn’t remind you what shape I _might_ have appeared
in.... What do you suppose I’ve come for?”
“I don’t know,” said Steven in a husky whisper. “Tell me.”
“I’ve come to forgive you. And to save you from the horror you _would_
have felt sooner or later. And to stop your going on with your crime.”
“You needn’t,” Steven said. “I’m not going on with it. I shall do no
more murders.”
“There you are again. Can’t you understand that I’m not talking about
your silly butcher’s work? I’m talking about your _real_ crime. Your
real crime was hating me.
“And your very hate was a blunder, Steven. You hated me for something I
hadn’t done.”
“Aye, what did you do? Tell me that.”
“You thought I came between you and your sweetheart. That night when
Dorsy spoke to me, you thought I told her to throw you over, didn’t
you?”
“Aye. And what did you tell her?”
“I told her to stick to you. It was you, Steven, who drove her away. You
frightened the child. She said she was afraid for her life of you. Not
because you half killed that poor boy, but because of the look on your
face before you did it. The look of hate, Steven.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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