Marston asked her what on earth she supposed he’d married her for. Then
she burst out crying and said she didn’t know.
Then he seems to have made it up with Pauline. He managed to make her
believe he wasn’t lying, that he really had seen something, and between
them they arrived at a rational explanation of the appearance. He had
been overworking. Rosamund’s phantasm was nothing but a hallucination of
his exhausted brain.
This theory carried him on till bed-time. Then, he says, he began to
wonder what would happen, what Rosamund’s phantasm would do next. Each
morning his passion for Pauline had come back again, increased by
frustration, and it worked itself up crescendo, towards night. Supposing
he _had_ seen Rosamund. He might see her again. He had become suddenly
subject to hallucinations. But as long as you _knew_ you were
hallucinated you were all right.
So what they agreed to do that night was by way of precaution, in case
the thing came again. It might even be sufficient in itself to prevent
his seeing anything.
Instead of going in to Pauline he was to get into the room before she
did, and she was to come to him there. That, they said, would break the
spell. To make him feel even safer he meant to be in bed before Pauline
came.
Well, he got into the room all right.
It was when he tried to get into bed that—he saw her (I mean Rosamund).
She was lying there, in his place next the window, her own place, lying
in her immature child-like beauty and sleeping, the firm full bow of her
mouth softened by sleep. She was perfect in every detail, the lashes of
her shut eyelids golden on her white cheeks, the solid gold of her
square fringe shining, and the great braided golden rope of her hair
flung back on the pillow.
He knelt down by the bed and pressed his forehead into the bedclothes,
close to her side. He declared he could feel her breathe.
He stayed there for the twenty minutes Pauline took to undress and come
to him. He says the minutes stretched out like hours. Pauline found him
still kneeling with his face pressed into the bedclothes. When he got up
he staggered.
She asked him what he was doing and why he wasn’t in bed. And he said,
“It’s no use. I can’t. I can’t.”
But somehow he couldn’t tell her that Rosamund was there. Rosamund was
too sacred; he couldn’t talk about her. He only said:
“You’d better sleep in my room to-night.”
He was staring down at the place in the bed where he still saw Rosamund.
Pauline couldn’t have seen anything but the bedclothes, the sheet
smoothed above an invisible breast, and the hollow in the pillow. She
said she’d do nothing of the sort. She wasn’t going to be frightened out
of her own room. He could do as he liked.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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