Steven came and went now as if nothing had happened. He made a point of
keeping the house as it would be kept if Mr. Greathead were alive. Mrs.
Blenkiron, coming in once a fortnight to wash and clean, found the fire
lit in Mr. Greathead’s study and his slippers standing on end in the
fender. Upstairs his bed was made, the clothes folded back, ready. This
ritual guarded Steven not only from the suspicions of outsiders, but
from his own knowledge. By behaving as though he believed that Mr.
Greathead was still living he almost made himself believe it. By
refusing to let his mind dwell on the murder he came to forget it. His
imagination saved him, playing the play that kept him sane, till the
murder became vague to him and fantastic like a thing done in a dream.
He had waked up and this was the reality; this round of caretaking, this
look the house had of waiting for Mr. Greathead to come back to it. He
had left off getting up in the night to examine the place on the dairy
floor. He was no longer amazed at his impunity.
[Illustration]
Then suddenly, when he really had forgotten, it ended. It was on a
Saturday in January, about five o’clock. Steven had heard that Dorsy
Oldishaw was back again, living at the “King’s Arms” with her aunt. He
had a mad, uncontrollable longing to see her again.
But it was not Dorsy that he saw.
His way from the Lodge kitchen into the drive was through the yard gates
and along the flagged path under the study window. When he turned on to
the flags he saw it shuffling along before him. The lamplight from the
window lit it up. He could see distinctly the little old man in the
long, shabby black overcoat, with the grey woollen muffler round his
neck hunched up above his collar, lifting the thin grey hair that stuck
out under the slouch of the black hat.
In the first moment that he saw it Steven had no fear. He simply felt
that the murder had not happened, that he really _had_ dreamed it, and
that this was Mr. Greathead come back, alive among the living. The
phantasm was now standing at the door of the house, its hand on the
door-knob as if about to enter.
But when Steven came up to the door it was not there.
He stood, fixed, staring at the space which had emptied itself so
horribly. His heart heaved and staggered, snatching at his breath. And
suddenly the memory of the murder rushed at him. He saw himself in the
bathroom, shut in with his victim by the soiled green walls. He smelt
the reek of the oil-stove; he heard the water running from the tap. He
felt his feet springing forward, and his fingers pressing, tighter and
tighter, on Mr. Greathead’s throat. He saw Mr. Greathead’s hands
flapping helplessly, his terrified eyes, his face swelling and
discoloured, changing horribly, and his body sinking to the floor.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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