'I will go to her,' I said, waving Miss Locke back and picking up my
flowers. 'Do not look so scared: she means those knocks for me.' And I
was right in my surmise. I found her lying very quietly, with the traces
of tears still on her face; she addressed me quite gently.
'Do not sing any more, please; I cannot bear it; it makes my heart ache
too much to-night.'
'Very well,' I returned cheerfully. 'I will just mend your fire, for it
is getting low, and put these flowers in water, and then I will bid you
good-night.'
'You are vexed with me for being rude,' she said, almost timidly. 'I told
Susan to send you away, because I could not bear any more talk. You made
me so unhappy yesterday, Miss Garston.'
I was cruel enough to tell her that I was glad to hear it, and I must
have looked as though I meant it.
'Oh, don't,' she said, shrinking as though I had dealt her a blow. 'I
want you to unsay those words: they pierce me like thorns. Please tell me
you did not mean them.'
'How can I know to what you are alluding?' I replied, in rather an
unsympathetic tone; but I did not intend to be soft with her to-day: she
had treated me badly and must repent her ingratitude. 'I certainly meant
every word I said yesterday,'
To my great surprise, she burst into tears, and repeated word for word
a fragment of a sentence that I had said.
'It haunts me, Miss Garston, and frightens me somehow. I have been saying
it over and over in my dreams,--that is what upset me so to-day: "if we
will not lie still under His hand,"--yes, you said that, knowing I have
never lain still for a moment,--"and if we will not learn the lesson He
would fain teach us, it may be that fresh trials may be sent to humble
us."'
Pity kept me silent for a moment, but I knew that I must not shirk my
work.
'I am sorry if the truth pains you, Phoebe, but it is no less the truth.
How am I to look at you and think that God has finished His work?'
She put up both her hands and motioned me away with almost a face of
horror, but I took no notice. I arranged the flowers and tended the fire,
and then offered her some cooling drink, which she did not refuse, and
then I bade her good-night.
'What!' she exclaimed, 'are you going to leave me like that, and not a
word to soothe me, after making me so unhappy? Think of the long night I
have to go through.'
'Never mind the length of the night, if only you can hear His voice in
the darkness. You wanted to send me away, Phoebe; well, and to-morrow I
shall not come; I shall stay at home and rest myself. You can send me
away, and little harm will happen; but take care you do not send Him
away.' And I left the room.
When I told Miss Locke that I was not coming the next evening she looked
frightened. 'Has my poor Phoebe offended you so badly, then?' she asked
tremulously.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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