Uncle's Dream; and The Permanent HusbandDostoyevsky, Fyodor
General
Uncle's Dream; and The Permanent Husband
Dostoyevsky, Fyodor
Princes -- Russia -- Fiction; Russia -- Social life and customs -- 1533-1917 -- Fiction
careless, happy fellow of a couple of years ago, the man who could tell a
funny story so inimitably, should now love nothing so well as to be all
alone. He intended to throw up most of his friends—a quite unnecessary
step, in spite of his present financial difficulties. Probably his vanity
was to blame for this intention: he could not bear to see his old friends
in his present position; with his vain suspicious character it would be
most unpalatable to him.
But his vanity began to change its nature in solitude. It did not grow
less, on the contrary; but it seemed to develop into a special type of
vanity which was unlike its old self. This new vanity suffered from
entirely different causes, “_higher_ causes, if I may so express it,” he
said, “and if there really be higher and lower motives in this world.”
He defined these “higher things” as matters which he could not laugh at,
or turn to ridicule when happening in his own individual experience. Of
course it would be quite another thing with the same subjects in society;
by _himself_ he could not ridicule then; but put him among other people,
and he would be the first to tear himself from all of those secret
resolutions of his conscience made in solitude, and laugh them to scorn.
Very often, on rising from his bed in the morning, he would feel ashamed
of the thoughts and feelings which had animated him during the long
sleepless night—and his nights of late had been sleepless. He seemed
suspicious of everything and everybody, great and small, and grew
mistrustful of himself.
One fact stood out clearly, and that was that during those sleepless
nights his thoughts and opinions took huge leaps and bounds, sometimes
changing entirely from the thoughts and opinions of the daytime. This fact
struck him very forcibly; and he took occasion to consult an eminent
medical friend. He spoke in fun, but the doctor informed him that the fact
of feelings and opinions changing during meditations at night, and during
sleeplessness, was one long recognised by science; and that that was
especially the case with persons of strong thinking power, and of acute
feelings. He stated further that very often the beliefs of a whole life
are uprooted under the melancholy influence of night and inability to
sleep, and that often the most fateful resolutions are made under the same
influence; that sometimes this impressionability to the mystic influence
of the dark hours amounted to a malady, in which case measures must be
taken, the radical manner of living should be changed, diet considered, a
journey undertaken if possible, etc., etc.
Velchaninoff listened no further, but he was sure that in his own case
there was decided malady.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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