Uncle's Dream; and The Permanent HusbandDostoyevsky, Fyodor
General
Uncle's Dream; and The Permanent Husband
Dostoyevsky, Fyodor
Princes -- Russia -- Fiction; Russia -- Social life and customs -- 1533-1917 -- Fiction
“The bird of prey, sir,” he began suddenly, stopping in front of Pavel
Pavlovitch, and speaking vehemently, “is the man who would poison
Bagantoff while drinking champagne with him under the cloak of
goodfellowship, as you did with me yesterday, instead of escorting his
wretched body to the burial ground as you did—the deuce only knows why,
and with what dirty, mean, underhand, petty motives, which only recoil
upon yourself and make you viler than you already are. Yes, sir, recoil
upon yourself!”
“Quite so, quite so, I oughtn’t to have gone,” assented Pavel Pavlovitch,
“but aren’t you a little——”
“The bird of prey is not a man who goes and learns his grievance off by
heart, like a lesson, and whines it about the place, grimacing and posing,
and hanging it round other people’s necks, and who spends all his time in
such pettifogging. Is it true you wanted to hang yourself? Come, is it
true, or not?”
“I—I don’t know—I may have when I was drunk—I don’t remember. You see,
Alexey Ivanovitch, it wouldn’t be quite nice for me to go poisoning
people. I’m too high up in the service, and I have money, too, you
know—and I may wish to marry again, who knows.”
“Yes; you’d be sent to Siberia, which would be awkward.”
“Quite so; though they say the penal servitude is not so bad as it was.
But you remind me of an anecdote, Alexey Ivanovitch. I thought of it in
the carriage, and meant to tell you afterwards. Well! you may remember
Liftsoff at T——. He came while you were there. His younger brother—who is
rather a swell, too—was serving at L—— under the governor, and one fine
day he happened to quarrel with Colonel Golubenko in the presence of
ladies, and of one lady especially. Liftsoff considered himself insulted,
but concealed his grievance; and, meanwhile, Golubenko proposed to a
certain lady and was accepted. Would you believe it, Liftsoff made great
friends with Golubenko, and even volunteered to be best man at his
wedding. But when the ceremony was all over, and Liftsoff approached the
bridegroom to wish him joy and kiss him, as usual, he took the opportunity
of sticking a knife into Golubenko. Fancy! his own best man stuck him!
Well, what does the assassin do but run about the room crying. ‘Oh! what
have I done? Oh! what have I done?’ says he, and throws himself on
everyone’s neck by turns, ladies and all! Ha-ha-ha! He starved to death in
Siberia, sir! One is a little sorry for Golubenko; but he recovered, after
all.”
“I don’t understand why you told me that story,” said Velchaninoff,
frowning heavily.
“Why, because he stuck the other fellow with a knife,” giggled Pavel
Pavlovitch, “which proves that he was no type, but an ass of a fellow, who
could so forget the ordinary manners of society as to hang around ladies’
necks, and in the presence of the governor, too—and yet he stuck the other
fellow. Ha-ha-ha! He did what he intended to do, that’s all, sir!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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