He had only a couple of days left before he was to start for Pernambuco,
where he had heard of work that was likely to suit him. He had made his
arrangements, taken his passage in the steerage: he had nothing to do
now but to write a farewell letter to Mr. Heron, telling him whither he
was bound, and another--should he write that other or should he not?--to
Elizabeth. He felt it hard to go without saying one last farewell to
her. The discovery that she was the heiress of his property had finally
decided him to leave England. He dared not risk the chance of being
recognised and identified, if such recognition and identification would
lead to her poverty. For even if, by a deed of gift in his supposed name
of Brian Luttrell, he devised his wealth to her, he knew that she would
never consent to take it if he were still alive. The doubt thrown on his
birth and parentage would not be conclusive enough in her mind to
justify her in despoiling him of what all the judges in the land would
have said was his birthright. But then Brian did not know that Vincenza
Vasari had been found. The existence of another claimant to the Luttrell
estate never troubled him in the least. He wronged nobody, he thought,
by allowing Elizabeth Murray to suppose that Brian Luttrell was dead.
He wrote a few lines to Mr. Heron, thanking him for his kindness, and
informing him that he was leaving England for South America; and then he
proceeded to the more difficult task of writing to Elizabeth. He
destroyed many sheets of paper, and spent a great deal of time in the
attempt, although the letter, as it stood at last, was a very simple
affair, scarcely worthy of the pains that had been bestowed upon it.
"Dear Miss Murray," he wrote, "when you receive this note I shall have
left England, but I cannot go without one word of farewell. You will
never know how much you did for me in those early days of our
acquaintance in Italy; how much hope you gave me back, how much interest
in life you inspired in me; but for all that you did I thank you. Is it
too much to ask you to remember me sometimes? I shall remember you until
the hour of my death. Forgive me if I have said too much. God bless you,
Elizabeth! Let me write that name once, for I shall never write to you
nor see your face again."
He put no signature. He could not bear to use a false name when he wrote
to her; and he was sure that she would know from whom the letter came.
He went out and dropped it with his own hands into a letter-box; then he
came back to his dreary lodgings, never expecting to find there anything
of interest. But he found something that interested him very much
indeed. He found a long and closely written letter from the Prior of San
Stefano.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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