'Only my glove,' she thought drearily; 'only my glove he kissed. More
than a glove has come between his hand and mine--between his lips and
mine. If he had put his arms round me in the hall and kissed me and
said-"My own Marie!" I should have forgotten everything but that I was
his. Now I do not know what to forget. In the old time I belonged to
myself; of late I have belonged to him. Now he seems not to want me,
and I do not want myself only for his sake. God help me, God help me!
I am poorer than the worst-used wife in England. I would rather be
used badly by him than that he should pass me by. If I cannot be happy
with him there is but one thing else I could endure, and that is to be
unhappy with him. God give me guidance and strength! If Thou wilt,
give me my George's love back again!'
They turned into Lincoln's Inn Fields. Not a word had been spoken the
whole way from Peter's Row. As soon as they were out of the turmoil of
Holborn, she said, without raising her eyes or her head,--
'Have I annoyed you, George?'
'Hush, girl, no. Let me speak. I have asked you to give me a few
minutes here, because I want you to grant me a great favour.'
'A favour!' she said to herself, with a joyous cry. 'A favour! George
wants a favour of me! This lord of my life wants a favour of me! Oh,
monstrous happiness, that he should want anything I can give! It must
be my life he wants. It cannot be less than my life he wants; he could
think of nothing else as a great favour. My life, or--or--yes, it may
be that. It may be he is tired of me, and wants my ring back for
another's finger! That would be more than my life, but nothing worth
his taking. How incalculably rich love makes one! A month ago I had
nothing more precious than my life; now I have love, a thousand times
more precious than life. Of course I will give up my sweetheart for my
love's sake. I will give him up as freely as I gave him my love. It
will then be a dark and dreary world for me; but there will be one
bright spot--the place where he dwells in happiness; one memory of
intoxicating pain and sacrificial joy, that of the time when I gave
him up to secure his happiness.'
She raised her head and her left hand. Looking into his eyes for the
first time, she said, in a tone of tender firmness,--
'George, I know what it is. You have been hasty. You now find out you
have been hasty. You are terribly distressed, because you think what
you are going to ask will pain me. Is not what I say true?'
'There is something in it, Marie. But how could you have guessed?' he
asked, in amazement.
For a moment her lips moved, but no words came. Suddenly she turned
deadly pale, her head dropped forward, and she tottered.
He seized her round the waist, and whispered frantically,--
'Marie, Marie, you are faint. Let me get you something. Cab, cab!'
She raised her head slowly, and looked into his face with a sweet dim
smile, saying feebly,--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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