'Oh, to think I had Marie in the boat, and never knew it! Oh, to think
I should have carried her all over those leagues of ocean, to resign
her for ever into those awful arms!'
The two figures on the wharf came out black against the grey
dawn-light in the sky. From the head and shoulders of the man the
covering had fallen away, and the woman now stood divested of the
furs. The figure which had worn the cloak was that of a skeleton; the
woman he had landed was his Marie. The skeleton held her tightly in
its arms. She stretched forth her arms to him entreating delivery.
Gradually he drifted farther and farther away from that awful group.
In another minute the wharf would be out of sight. He turned round,
and sought to seize the upturned boat. He lost sight of everything.
There was a shout of the waters in his ear. He knew he was drowning,
and he thanked God.
CHAPTER III.
DAYLIGHT.
With a cry he sprang sitting up, and looked around him.
'A dream!' he whispered. 'A dream! What a hideous dream! Ah, that is
the most terrible dream I have ever had. God, forgive me. God pardon
me, if in one brief moment yesterday I allowed a question of any of
Your inconceivable qualities to enter my mind.'
He flung himself out of bed and dropped on his knees, facing the
light. He threw his hands up to Heaven beseechingly, imploringly, and
prayed with all the fervour of his nature, asking for strength and
grace and undying faith. He covered his face with his hands, bowed his
head to the floor, and wailed for mercy, for forgiveness.
He admitted that for one moment yesterday his faith had been shaken.
He admitted this with all the humility of his soul. He was unworthy to
raise his eyes to Heaven, he who had sinned so heinously; but the
All-Merciful might show him mercy. Mercy had been promised to all who
humbled themselves and asked for mercy. He lay there, prone, full of
pitiful sorrow and passionate importunity. Grant him mercy, grant him
mercy, grant him hope!
Here he paused a long time. His thoughts made no progress. After a
time they took a new form, and a wilder fervour of entreaty burst from
him.
'Bowed down, body and soul, will I remain all day, beseeching Thee not
to visit this sin upon her, beseeching Thee not to punish me through
her happiness.'
He felt a flush dash through him, and he raised up his head in abject
entreaty.
'No, no, no! Judge me not, O Lord! I am not moved by mixed motives. I
do not place an earthly being between Thee and me. But if it be Thy
will, spare her and smite me; spare her and smite me. If she must
suffer, Thy will be done. Thy will be done. Thy will be done.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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