Amnesiacs -- Fiction; New York (State) -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Trials -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
"You see, Tuck, old beggar, I'm getting old, and when I die there will
be no little chap or little sister Shipman to carry on the soul of
me, yes, even the foolishnesses of me; I suppose," Watts inquired of
his dog, "I suppose you have lots of little puppies somewhere, some
blue-ribboned and with kennel degrees that make you pretty proud? But
me, Tuck, I don't leave anything, not even a little adopted puppy.
Nothing can laugh and say, 'My father was an awful duffer, but he made
good salad dressing,' or 'My father licked me once, but we used to go
fishing together.' Tuck," whispered the man fiercely, "I want a son, a
little young 'un to keep alive the things I dream and hope and believe.
I want another me."
The strong fingers in the dog's shaggy hair gripped upon the hateful
idea of utter cessation of being, as many another has gripped. Let
those who rage against Birth Control face rather this mystery of the
man or woman who because of an ideal in the matter of human love
dies without issue! Here is a Birth Control of much larger and more
significant reach.
"The strange part of it is, Tuck, it's easy enough to get children, but
to get children who shall, no matter what befalls them, be parented by
high human love and faith, that is another thing." The deep eyes stared
into the shallow dog eyes. "Well," sighed Shipman, "it's very seldom
that I care like this. It's the beginning of autumn, that's all. You
don't suppose, Tuck, that I really care?"
Yet the man knew remorselessly that in the past week things had
happened about which he unutterably cared. The chance mingling with
the young life of the Willow Roads had shown him to himself in a way
that he could not ignore or brush aside. He was a human man, a soul
and body undeveloped, unrealized, inorientate in the great human plan.
He had blown, like life seed, down the dry roads of philosophy and
introspection, and had lain for a while by the springs of youth and
action until some hidden principle within him had germinated. Now he
craved direction, fruition!
There floated through the mind of the lawyer the pictures of Minga,
with her vivid capricious demands on him, her unwitting tempting
of him; what would another man have done? Of what worth were his
hesitations and restraints, Sard, with her high compulsions and
swift fires? Why should he, Shipman, have let these fresh wonders of
womanhood flit by like shadows? He groaned, knowing why--because do
what he would, think what he would, Eleanor Ledyard held him. The woman
of ice, the enshrined mystery of woman whom another man had called
"wife," but who, Shipman believed, had never been true soul-wife,
controlled his, Shipman's, deepest, most inaccessible self.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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