‘Mr President, gentleman, and officers of “123.”’ (Roars of appreciation.) ‘It is with heartfelt satisfaction that I rise on the occasion, or rather to the occasion, of my young pupil’s departure. We all know Raymond; he has been long amongst us.’ (Loud and prolonged groans.) ‘We know him well; we know his shortcomings.’ (‘We do, we do.’) ‘It is my painful duty to inform you that he is one my most backward pupils in the art of work.’ (‘He is, he is.’) ‘Nevertheless he is improving.’ (‘No, no.’) ‘Now, all my efforts are like to be set at naught.’ (‘Yes, yes.’) ‘But we must not give in.’ (‘Never.’) ‘We must back one another up. We must coalesce; we must unite; and on his return we must make a determined and extended effort to save him from himself.’ (‘We will, we will.’) ‘We must stand back to back. We must keep on hitting. In the words of the immortal Captain Smith of _Titanic_ fame, we must “Be British.”’ Raymond rose to reply. ‘Mr President, Gentlemen, I hope and trust that during my temporary absence you will conduct yourselves as little like officers and as much like gentlemen as you can, without causing yourselves any great personal inconvenience. Glad as I am to leave you, my heart bleeds when I try to imagine your dilemma when bereft of my restraining influence. You are a lot of rotters.’ (‘No, no.’) ‘You are a lot of rotters, to whom I wish bad weather and flat beer, and don’t forget that if you increase with your motors in series, you increase on the one you haven’t increased on before you increase on the one that you have. Think it out well and dream about it. I will endeavour to execute your commissions.’ (‘Hear, hear, hear.’) ‘Little as I wish to.’ (‘Oh, oh.’) ‘With the greatest pleasure in the world we part brass rags at 3.0 p.m. to-morrow.’ (Cheers.) Then the ward room broke loose, and an obstacle race was organised, much to the detriment of the furniture, and after Blake had given a juggling turn the visitors were called on for a side-show. After much whispering and preparation, during which time the whisky was circulated, it materialised in the form of a charade in which a Jew, organ-grinder, a beauteous damsel, and a gentleman with a green nose were the leading lights. Then Hackensmidt and Madrali (Carruthers and Johnson) wrestled for the world’s championship of ‘caught-as-caught-couldn’t’ wrestling, the result of which was that a gasping Johnson lay on the flat of his back, knocking feebly on the deck, what time an empurpled Carruthers kneaded him in the chest. Visitors and hosts alike arose and fell on them. The rugger scrum which ensued was a huge success, though the ball (somebody’s Nautical Tables) suffered rather in the process. Then the piano got going, and as eleven o’clock struck came the chorus of:-- ‘A German officer crossed the Rhine, Skibye, Skiboo!’ hammered out by the lungs of the united ward room.