(The warm wrappers arrived for us in summer, and as for the "special
hampers," they were never heard of at all.)
And so, with many warm wishes, almost prayers, for my preservation
from danger, and offers of money if I required it, the letter of my
kind old friend ended; but it gave me food for much thought, and far
into the hours of the chill night I sat and pondered over it. Why did
Winny refuse so excellent an offer as that of Sir Watkins, whom I knew
to be a wealthy and good-looking young baronet? I scarcely dared to
ask myself, and so, as before, dismissed _that_ subject. Why had not
Estelle's answers reached me, if she had actually written then? That
Lady Naseby had surreptitiously intercepted our correspondence, I
could not believe, though she might forbid it. Was my Lord
Pottersleigh, now Earl of Aberconway, at work; or had they, like many
others, perished at sea? Heaven alone new. His flatteries "pleased
her," his, the senile dotard! And he had taken up his residence at
Walcot Park; his earldom, too! I was full of sadness, mortification,
and bitter thoughts; thoughts too deep and fierce for utterance or
description. Could it be that the earldom and wealth on one hand were
proving too strong for love, with the stringent tenor of her father's
will on the other?
At the opera and theatre I had seen Estelle's beautiful eyes fill with
tears, as she sympathised with the maudlin love and mimic sorrow, the
wrongs or mishaps, of some well-rouged gipsy in rags, some peasant in
a steeple-crowned hat and red bandages, some half-naked fisherman,
like Masaniello, and her bosom would heave with emotion and
enthusiasm; and yet with all this natural commiseration and
fellow-feeling, she, who could almost weep with the hero or heroine of
the melodrama, while their situation was enhanced by the effects of
the orchestra, the lime-light, and the stage-carpenter, was perhaps
casting me from her heart and her memory, as coolly as if I were an
old ball-dress! So I strove yet awhile to think and to hope that her
letters were with the lost mails at the bottom of the Ægean or the
Black Sea; but Sir Madoc's letter occasioned me grave and painful
doubts; and memory went sadly back to many a little but
well-remembered episode of tenderness, a word, a glance, a stolen
caress, when we rode or drove by the Elwey or Llyn Aled, in the long
lime avenue, in the Martens' dingle, and in the woods and gardens of
pleasant Craigaderyn. The wretched light in my lantern was beginning
to fail; my little fire had died quite out, and the poor sentry
shivering outside had long since ceased to warm his hands at the flue.
The tent was cold and chill as a tomb, and I was just about to turn
in, when a sound, which a soldier never hears without starting
instinctively to his weapons, struck my ear.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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