American fiction -- 19th century; California -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; San Francisco (Calif.) -- Fiction; Short stories
The stranger again stared after the retreating carriage, looked around
the shop, and even into the deserted surgery, and approached the
counter confidentially. “Look yer, pardner. I kem straight from St. Jo,
Mizzorri, to Gold Hill--whar I've got a claim--and I reckon this is the
first time I ever struck San Francisker. I ain't up to towny ways nohow,
and I allow that mebbe I'm rather green. So we'll let that pass! Now
look yer!” he added, leaning over the counter with still deeper and even
mysterious confidence, “I suppose this yer kind o' thing is the regular
go here, eh? nothin' new to YOU! in course no! But to me, pard, it's
just fetchin' me! Lifts me clear outer my boots every time! Why, when I
popped into that thar room, and saw that lady--all gold, furbelows,
and spangles--at twelve o'clock at night, sittin' in that cheer and you
a-cuttin' her h'r and swabbin' her head o' blood, and kinder prospectin'
for 'indications,' so to speak, and doin' it so kam and indifferent
like, I sez to myself, 'Rube, Rube,' sez I, 'this yer's life! city life!
San Francisker life! and b'gosh, you've dropped into it! Now, pard, look
yar! don't you answer, ye know, ef it ain't square and above board for
me to know; I ain't askin' you to give the show away, ye know, in the
matter of high-toned ladies like that, but” (very mysteriously, and
sinking his voice to the lowest confidential pitch, as he put his
hand to his ear as if to catch the hushed reply), “what mout hev bin
happening, pard?”
Considerably amused at the man's simplicity, Kane replied
good-humoredly: “Danced among some champagne bottles on a table at a
party, fell and got cut by glass.”
The stranger nodded his head slowly and approvingly as he repeated with
infinite deliberateness: “Danced on champagne bottles, champagne! you
said, pard? at a pahty! Yes!” (musingly and approvingly). “I reckon
that's about the gait they take. SHE'D do it.”
“Is there anything I can do for you? sorry to have kept you waiting,”
said Kane, glancing at the clock.
“O ME! Lord! ye needn't mind me. Why, I should wait for anythin' o' the
like o' that, and be just proud to do it! And ye see, I sorter helped
myself while you war busy.”
“Helped yourself?” said Kane in astonishment.
“Yes, outer that bottle.” He pointed to the ammonia bottle, which still
stood on the counter. “It seemed to be handy and popular.”
“Man! you might have poisoned yourself.”
The stranger paused a moment at the idea. “So I mout, I reckon,” he said
musingly, “that's so! pizined myself jest ez you was lookin' arter that
high-toned case, and kinder bothered you! It's like me!”
“I mean it required diluting; you ought to have taken it in water,” said
Kane.
“I reckon! It DID sorter h'ist me over to the door for a little fresh
air at first! seemed rayther scaldy to the lips. But wot of it that GOT
THAR,” he put his hand gravely to his stomach, “did me pow'ful good.”
“What was the matter with you?” asked Kane.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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