Algeria -- Fiction; British -- Algeria -- Fiction; France. Armée. Légion étrangère -- Fiction; Love stories
Cecil opened his closed eyes, with the sleepy indifference vanished
from them, and a look of genuine and affectionate concern on the serene
insouciance of his face.
“Ah! you would stay and play that chicken hazard,” he thought, but he
was not one who would have reminded the boy of his own advice and its
rejection; he looked at him in silence a moment, then raised himself
with a sigh.
“Dear boy, why didn't you sleep upon it? I never think of disagreeable
things till they wake me with my coffee; then I take them up with the
cup and put them down with it. You don't know how well it answers; it
disposes of them wonderfully.”
The boy lifted his head with a quick, reproachful anger, and in the
gaslight his cheeks were flushed, his eyes full of tears.
“How brutal you are, Bertie! I tell you I am ruined, and you care no
more than if you were a stone. You only think of yourself; you only live
for yourself!”
He had forgotten the money that had been tossed to him off that very
table the day before the Grand Military; he had forgotten the debts that
had been paid for him out of the winnings of that very race. There is a
childish, wayward, wailing temper, which never counts benefits received
save as title-deeds by which to demand others. Cecil looked at him with
just a shadow of regret, not reproachful enough to be rebuke, in his
glance, but did not defend himself in any way against the boyish,
passionate accusation, nor recall his own past gifts into remembrance.
“'Brutal'! What a word, little one. Nobody's brutal now; you never see
that form nowadays. Come, what is the worst this time?”
Berkeley looked sullenly down on the table where his elbows leaned;
scattering the rose-notes, the French novels, the cigarettes, and the
gold essence-bottles with which it was strewn; there was something
dogged yet agitated, half-insolent yet half-timidly irresolute, upon
him, that was new there.
“The worst is soon told,” he said huskily, and his teeth chattered
together slightly, as though with cold, as he spoke. “I lost two hundred
to-night; I must pay it, or be disgraced forever; I have not a farthing;
I cannot get the money for my life; no Jews will lend to me, I am under
age; and--and”--his voice sank lower and grew more defiant, for he knew
that the sole thing forbidden him peremptorily by both his father and
his brothers was the thing he had now to tell--“and--I borrowed three
ponies of Granville Lee yesterday, as he came from the Corner with a lot
of banknotes after settling-day. I told him I would pay them to-morrow;
I made sure I should have won to-night.”
The piteous unreason of the born gamester, who clings so madly to the
belief that luck must come to him, and sets on that belief as though a
bank were his to lose his gold from, was never more utterly spoken
in all its folly, in all its pitiable optimism, than now in the boy's
confession.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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