United States -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
"Helped me? Ah, Selma," he said, folding her in his arms, "I don't think
you realize how much you are to me. In this modern world, what with
self-consciousness, and shyness and contemporary distaste for fulsome
expression, it is difficult to tell adequately those we love how we feel
toward them. You are my darling and my inspiration. The sun rises and
sets with you, and unless you were happy, I could never be. Each man in
this puzzling world must live according to his own lights, and I,
according to mine, am trying to make the most of myself, consistent with
self-respect and avoidance of the low human aims and time-serving
methods upon which our new civilization is supposed to frown. If I am
neglecting my lawful opportunities, if I am failing to see wisely and
correctly, I shall be grateful for counsel. Ah, Selma, for your sake,
even more than for my own, I grieve that we have no children. A baby's
hands would, I fancy, be the best of counsellors and enlighteners."
"If children had come at first, it would have been very nice. But
now--now I think they might stand in the way of my being of help to you.
And I am so anxious to help you, Wilbur."
As a result of this conversation Littleton devoted himself more
assiduously than ever to his work. He was eager to increase his earnings
so that his income should not be curtailed by his decision to avoid
further ventures in the stock-market. He was troubled in soul, for
Selma's accusation that he was visionary haunted him. Could it be that
he was too scrupulous, too uncompromising, and lacked proper enterprise?
Self-scrutiny failed to convince him that this was so, yet left a
lurking doubt which was harassing. His clear mind was too modest to
believe in its own infallibility, for he was psychologist enough to
understand that no one can be absolutely sure that his perspective of
life is accurate. Possibly he was sacrificing his wife's legitimate
aspirations to too rigid canons of behavior, and to an unconscious lack
of initiative. On the other hand, as a positive character, he believed
that he saw clearly, and he could not avoid the reflection that, if this
was the case, he and Selma were drifting apart--the more bitter
alternative of the two, and a condition which, if perpetuated, would
involve the destruction of the scheme of matrimonial happiness, the
ideal communion of two sympathetic souls, in which he was living as a
proud partner. Apparently he was in one of two predicaments; either he
was self deceived, which was abhorrent to him as a thoughtful grappler
with the eternal mysteries, or he had misinterpreted the character of
the woman whose transcendent quality was a dearer faith to him than the
integrity of his own manhood.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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