It would be wearisome to record the passage of two months or more,
to construct an itinerary of her progress, to chronicle the events
of a period that was solitary as the wilds through which she passed.
She never slept a night under populous roof the whole time of these
wanderings. Luckily it was fair weather, and a mild season; forest
shade, such as it was, and the caves of the wilderness, a ruined villa,
the forsaken hut of a charcoal burner, an empty hermitage,--such in
turn gave her shelter from the placid light of the moon, or the black
stare of a starless sky. She never ventured even among peasant folk
unhelmeted. Her food was won from cottager or herdsman by such store of
money as she had about her, though many she came across were eager to
appease so formidable a person with milk, and pottage, and the little
delicacies of the rude home. Often her fine carriage and youthful voice
won wonders from the bosom of some peasant housewife. She had her
liberty, and was free to roam; the life contented her instincts for a
season, and at least she was saved the sight of Gorlois. Since war had
failed to loose her from the man, she would essay her best to keep him
at a distance.
If hate repelled, love drew with dreams. Yet had Igraine been asked
of peace at heart, she would have smiled and sighed together. There
are degrees of misery, and solitary suffering is preferable to that
publicity which is very torture in itself, a galling whip to the tender
flanks of pride. In being free of Gorlois she was happy; in thinking
of Uther and in contemplation of the shadows of the unknown she was of
all women most miserable. A mood of self-concentration was settling
slowly upon her like an inevitable season upon the face of the earth.
Day by day a dream prophetic of the future was pictured in the imagery
of thought till it grew familiar as an often looked on landscape that
awakes no wonder and no strange unrest. The ordinances of man had
thrust on her a damnable tyranny, and she was more than weary of the
restrictions of the world. The inevitable scorn of custom had long
taken hold upon her being, and she had been driven to that state when
the soul founds a republic within itself, and creates its ethics from
the promptings of the heart.
Uther was at Caerleon; she had heard the truth from many a peasant
tongue. Caerleon therefrom drew her with magic influence, as a lamp
draws a golden moth from the gloom, or the light in the night sky wings
on the wild-fowl with the prophecy of water. Caerleon became the bourn
of all her holier thoughts; strange city of magic, it held love and
hate for her, desire and obloquy; though its walls were as a luring net
scintillant with spirit gossamer, her very reason lulled her fears to
sleep, and turned her southwards towards Uskland and the sea.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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