"Pelleas, I do not see why it is necessary for holiness to be bricked
up like a frog in a wall in order to escape corruption. Why, you are
eating your own words."
"But you have vows," he said.
"I have; and doubts also."
"Doubts?" quoth the man, with a quick look, thrilling inwardly.
"Doubts, Pelleas, doubts."
She caught his eyes with hers, and gave him one long, deep stare that
made him quake as though all that had been flame within him--that which
he had sought to tread to ashes--had but spread redly into her bosom.
There was no parrying such a message. It smote him blind in a moment.
The spiritual bastions of his soul seemed to reel and rock as though
some chaos had broken on their stones. There was great outcry in his
heart, as of a leaguer when guards and stormers are at grapple on the
walls. "Cross! Holy Cross!" cried Conscience, in the moil. "Yield ye,
yield ye, Pelleas," sang a voice more subtle, "yield ye, and let Love
in!" He sat stiff in the saddle, and shut his eyes to the day, while
the fight boiled on within him. Now Love had him heart and hand; now
Honour, blind and bleeding, struggled in and stemmed the rout. He was
won and lost, lost and won, a dozen times in a minute.
Recovered somewhat, he made bold to question Igraine yet further.
"Tell me your doubts, girl," he said.
"They are deep, Pelleas, deep as the sea."
"Whence came they, then?"
"Some great power put them in my heart, and they are steadfast as
death."
Again the wild flush of liberty swept Pelleas like wind.
"Tell me, Igraine," he said, in a gasp.
She put her fingers gently on his lips. "Patience--patience," she said,
"and perhaps I will tell them to you, Pelleas, ere long."
Thus much she suffered him to go, and no further. Her quick instinct
had read him nearly to the "Explicit," and there she halted, content
for an hour or a day. Her love was singing like a lark in the blue.
She beamed on the man in spirit streams of pride and tumultuous
tenderness. How she would comfort him in the end! He should carry her
into Winchester on his horse, and she would lodge there, but not at the
great inn that harboured souls for heaven. She would have the bow and
the torch for her signs, and possibly the Church might serve her in
other fashion. Like a lotus eater, she dallied with all these dreams in
her heart.
With the sun low in the west, Pelleas and Igraine were still three
leagues or so from Winchester. The day was passing gloriously, with
the radiant acolytes of evening swinging their jasper censers in the
sky. The two were riding on a pine-crowned ridge, and the stretch of
wilderness beyond seemed wrapped in one mysterious blaze of smoking
gold. Hills and woods were glittering shadows, like spirit things in a
spirit atmosphere. The west was a great curtain of transcendent gold.
Pelleas and Igraine could not look at it without great wonder.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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