All was plain now, by one instant of merciless illumination. She
sufficed to beguile Mr. Canning's leisure for an invalid sojourn far
from his normal haunts, but apart from that she had no existence for
him. He could see her daily, monopolize her time, for these things
happened to amuse him; he could make love to her, lead her in a hundred
subtle ways to feel that her companionship was sweet to him; and then he
could board a train and ride handsomely away, and woe is the word to the
conquered. And by this freedom that he felt, and in particular by the
license of his prodigal kisses, it appeared that she read the heart of
his secret opinion of her.
Never again should he show her this opinion, at least: he should board
his train with no more sight of her. On this her thought was
crystal-clear from the beginning. That such short shrift to Mr. Hugo
Canning was suicidally impolitic, she naturally had no difficulty in
realizing; the dread of reporting the affair to mamma had already shot
through her mind. But for the moment these things seemed oddly not to
matter. She was clearly in the grip of one of those mysterious
"flare-ups" which her mother disliked and objected to so intensely: to
such lengths borne by her recoil from Mr. Canning's familiarity. She had
met the common fate of beauty. Flaming young men had kissed her before
now. But none had kissed her without the desire of her love, none as the
fair price exacted for a couple of weeks' lordly attentions. By their
lightness, as by their passion, Canning's kisses had seemed to sear and
scar. They had given her body to be burned. For this was the fulness of
his desire of her, her favor to wear in his button-hole; and his thought
stabbed at her, beneath his gallant's air, that by now he had fairly
earned it.
In the dark as it was, the memory of her moment of revelation had turned
the girl's face downward upon her pillow. How, oh how, had he come to
image her on so low a plane? How did it come to be that men should have
slighting opinions of _her_, of all people, and so slap them across
her face?...
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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