She had been going through a series of violent emotional experiences in
which he had had not the slightest share, and now required of him that
he should catch up with the results of these experiences, upon a
moment's notice and at a single bound. She could not realize the extreme
difficulty of this feat. Nor, indeed, could Canning himself, confident
by the ease with which his love had appeared to put down all personal
irritations. To his seeming, as to hers, they had met in perfect
spiritual reunion.
Accordingly, when he proposed that the matter be allowed to rest quiet
for a day or two, till they were all in a little better frame of mind to
view it calmly, he offered a temporary solution which he felt certain
would seem to her as reasonable and as tactfully considerate as it
did to him.
"In this moment of shock and distress," he said, with admirable
restraint, "you are not quite in the best frame of mind, you see, to
decide such a serious matter. Fortunately, to wait a little while and
think it over quietly can do no harm to anybody now. And then, if you
still feel the same way about it, of course I shall want to do what
you wish."
He had had Carlisle's feelings only at second-hand, through a medium
perhaps wanting in transparence. Her hesitancy considerably surprised
him. To Carlisle, as was almost equally inevitable, it was as if in the
solid rock of their mutual understanding there had suddenly appeared a
tiny crack. She felt the reasonableness as well as the tenderness with
which Hugo spoke; she wanted nothing in the world but to do what he
wanted. And yet it seemed somehow a physical impossibility for her now
to say that she would unsettle and postpone it all,--something, say, as
if Hugo had asked her to step back into last year or the year before.
And she tried to make him understand this, saying--what seemed a feeble
reply to his logic:
"You see, I--I've already thought about it a good deal, Hugo ... And
putting it off would only make me--miserable and ill. I can't explain
very well.... I think I could begin to--to forget about it if--when...."
This she said over several times, in different ways, as the necessary
discussion proceeded....
It was naturally hard for Hugo to grasp the grounds on which she
rejected a mere deferment of painful discussion till to-morrow morning
(for he reduced his proposal to that), or even to see why, though
opposed herself, she would not readily be guided in so small a matter by
his wishes. The soft chimes in the hall had rung five before it
definitely came over him that the preliminaries had oddly, indeed
incredibly, gone against him.
He faced the fact frankly, without perceptible sign of annoyance.
"Well, then, my dearest girl, I'm afraid we shall have to talk about it
a little now...."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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