So he was arguing the case for postponement of discussion once more,
with excellent good sense and an even more moving insistence....
If he had now but ceased his argument, turned, gathered her to his arms,
and adjured her by his overflowing love to entrust herself to him, it is
possible that within two minutes he might have had her weeping on his
breast, in complete surrender. Body and soul, she was sore with much
pounding: more than an hour ago, she needed sympathy and comfort now,
loverly occupation of the desolating lonely places within her. But
Canning argued, seeing nothing else to do, argued with a deepening note
of patience in his voice. And when he stopped at length, it was natural
that she should argue back: though she really meant this for her last
attempt to convey the dim light that was in her.
"I hate to seem so silly and obstinate, Hugo. I--I can't seem to explain
it exactly. But I really don't think that waiting would make any
difference--in my feeling. And don't you think, if I feel I ... couldn't
be happy till I--got this off my mind...."
Again he explained that this feeling was but a passing illusion, here
to-day, gone to-morrow.
Carlisle hesitated. But Canning, seeing only silence for his pains, said
with a little quickening of his tone:
"Tell me, my dear! Honestly, would such a thought as that--about your
happiness--ever have occurred to you if it hadn't been suggested to you
by Dr. Vivian?"
Natural as the inquiry was to Canning, it jangled oddly upon Carlisle.
She could not understand Hugo's recurrence to this man; it seemed
curiously unreasonable, quite unlike him and somehow quite unjust....
"Why, I don't know, Hugo. I--I seem to have had it on my mind a good
deal lately. Perhaps he first made me think of it that way--I
don't know."
"Don't you think perhaps we might have understood each other a little
better all along, if you had talked it over with me before you talked to
him about it?"
"Yes, I do now. I didn't seem to think.... It all happened so
unexpectedly--I never planned anything at all. And then I thought--I
hoped--you would think I was doing right."
"My dear girl, nobody in his senses could possibly think you were doing
right, and nobody who cared for you could want you to abandon yourself
to the impulses of a moment of nervous hysteria."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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