At this moment, in the first rankling sting of humiliation and despair,
he could almost have struck a murderous blow at the man whom fortune
had set on such a pinnacle of pride and insolence, as it seemed to his
galled fancy. He was not in the mood to be either just or generous, and
he saw in Ralph Gowan nothing but a man who had both the power and will
to rival him, and rob him of peace and hope forever. If Dolly had been
with him, in all probability his wretchedness would have evaporated in a
harmless outburst, which would have touched the girl's heart so tenderly
that she would have withheld nothing of love and consolation which could
reassure him, and so in the end the tempest would have left no wound
behind. But as it was left to himself and his imaginings, every thought
held its bitter sting. He was, as it were, upon the brink of an abyss.
And while this danger was threatening her, Dolly was setting herself
steadfastly to her task of entertaining her employer's guests, though
it must be confessed that she found it necessary to summon all her
energies. She was thinking of Griffith, but not as Griffith was thinking
of her. She was picturing him looking desolate among the group round
the fire at Bloomsbury Place, or else working desperately and with
unnecessary energy amidst the dust and gloom of the dimly lighted
office; and the result was that her spirit almost failed. It was quite
a relief to encounter Ralph Gowan, as she did, on entering the room: he
had seen them all latterly, and could enter into particulars; and so,
in her pleasure, it must be owned that her face brightened, just as
Griffith had fancied it would, when she shook hands with him.
“I did not hear that you were coming,” she said. “How glad I am!”
which was the most dangerous speech she could have made under
the circumstances, since it was purely on her account that he had
diplomatized to obtain the invitation.
He did not find it easy to release her hand all at once, and certainly
he lighted up also.
“Will you let me tell you that it was not Miss MacDowlas who brought me
here?” he said, in a low voice; “though I appreciate her kindness, as a
grateful man ought. Vagabondia is desolate without you.”
She tried to laugh, but could not; her attempt broke off in the
unconscious sigh, which always touched him, he scarcely knew why.
“Is it?” she said, looking up at him without a bit of the old
brightness. “Don't tell them, Mr. Gowan, but the fact is I am desolate
without it. I want to go home.”
He felt his heart leap suddenly, and before he could check himself he
spoke.
“I wish--I _wish_,” he said, “that you would let me take you home.” And
the simply sounding words embodied a great deal more of tender fancy
than a careless observer would have imagined; and Dolly, recognizing the
thrill in his voice, was half startled.
But she shook her head, and managed to smile.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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