“Quite ekal to a book, he talks,” said Jack. “I never could read one myself, on account o’ not knowing how, but I’ve heard ’em read, and that’s just the sort o’ incomprehensible gammon.” “We don’t want any of your ignorant remarks,” said the admiral, “so you be quiet.” “Ay, ay, sir.” “Now, Mister Lawyer, you are an honest fellow, and an honest fellow is generally a sensible fellow.” “Sir, I thank you.” “If so be as what this letter says is true, my nephew Charles has got a liking for this girl, who has had her neck bitten by a vampyre, you see.” “I perceive, sir.” “Now what would you do?” “One of the most difficult, as well, perhaps, as one of the most ungracious of tasks,” said the attorney, “is to interfere with family affairs. The cold and steady eye of reason generally sees things in such very different lights to what they appear to those whose feelings and whose affections are much compromised in their results.” “Very true. Go on.” “Taking, my dear sir, what in my humble judgment appears to be a reasonable view of this subject, I should say it would be a dreadful thing for your nephew to marry into a family any member of which was liable to the visitations of a vampyre.” “It wouldn’t be pleasant.” “The young lady might have children.” “Oh, lots,” cried Jack. “Hold your noise, Jack.” “Ay, ay, sir.” “And she might herself actually, when after death she became a vampyre, come and feed on her own children.” “Become a vampyre! What, is she going to be a vampyre too?” “My dear sir, don’t you know that it is a remarkable fact, as regards the physiology of vampyres, that whoever is bitten by one of those dreadful beings, becomes a vampyre?” “The devil!” “It is a fact, sir.” “Whew!” whistled Jack; “she might bite us all, and we should be a whole ship’s crew o’ _wamphighers_. There would be a confounded go!” “It’s not pleasant,” said the admiral, as he rose from his chair, and paced to and fro in the room, “it’s not pleasant. Hang me up at my own yard-arm if it is.” “Who said it was?” cried Jack. “Who asked you, you brute?” “Well, sir,” added Mr. Crinkles, “I have given you all the information I can; and I can only repeat what I before had the honour of saying more at large, namely, that I am your humble servant to command, and that I shall be happy to attend upon you at any time.” “Thank ye—thank ye, Mr.—a—a——” “Crinkles.” “Ah, Crinkles. You shall hear from me again, sir, shortly. Now that I am down here, I will see to the very bottom of this affair, were it deeper than fathom ever sounded. Charles Holland was my poor sister’s son; he’s the only relative I have in the wide world, and his happiness is dearer to my heart than my own.” Crinkles turned aside, and, by the twinkle of his eyes, one might premise that the honest little lawyer was much affected. “God bless you, sir,” he said; “farewell.” “Good day to you.”