“Because,” said Varney—and he trembled as he spoke—“because each
lineament of your countenance brings me back to the recollection of the
only scene in life that made me shudder, and which I cannot think of,
even with the indifference of contempt. I see it all before my mind’s
eye, coming in frightful panoramic array, those incidents, which even
to dream of, are sufficient to drive the soul to madness; the dread of
this annual visit, hangs upon me like a dark cloud upon my very heart;
it sits like some foul incubus, destroying its vitality, and dragging
me, from day to day, nearer to that tomb, from whence not as before, I
can emerge.”
“You have been among the dead?” said the stranger.
“I have.”
“And yet are mortal.”
“Yes,” repeated Varney, “yes, and yet am mortal.”
“It was I that plucked you back to that world, which, to judge from
your appearance, has had since that eventful period but few charms for
you. By my faith you look like——”
“Like what I am,” interrupted Varney. “This is a subject that once a
year gets frightfully renewed between us. For weeks before your visit I
am haunted by frightful recollections, and it takes me many weeks after
you are gone, before I can restore myself to serenity. Look at me; am I
not an altered man?”
“In faith you are,” said the stranger “I have no wish to press upon you
painful recollections. And yet ’tis strange to me that upon such a man
as you, the event to which you allude should produce so terrible an
impression.”
“I have passed through the agony of death,” said Varney, “and have
again endured the torture—for it is such—of the re-union of the body
and the soul; not having endured so much, not the faintest echo of such
feelings can enter into your imagination.”
“There may be truth in that, and yet, like a fluttering moth round a
flame, it seems to me, that when I do see you, you take a terrific kind
of satisfaction in talking of the past.”
“That is strictly true,” said Varney; “the images with which my mind is
filled are frightful. Pent up do they remain for twelve long months.
I can speak to you, and you only, without disguise, and thus does it
seem to me that I get rid of the uneasy load of horrible imaginings.
When you are gone, and have been gone a sufficient lapse of time, my
slumbers are not haunted with frightful images—I regain a comparative
peace, until the time slowly comes around again, when we are doomed to
meet.”
“I understand you. You seem well lodged here?”
“I have ever kept my word, and sent to you, telling you where I am.”
“You have, truly. I have no shadow of complaint to make against you.
No one could have more faithfully performed his bond than you have.
I give you ample credit for all that, and long may you live still to
perform your conditions.”
“I dare not deceive you, although to keep such faith I may be compelled
to deceive a hundred others.”
“Of that I cannot judge. Fortune seems to smile upon you; you have not
as yet disappointed me.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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