Vashti; Or, Until Death Us Do PartEvans, Augusta J. (Augusta Jane)
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Vashti; Or, Until Death Us Do Part
Evans, Augusta J. (Augusta Jane)
American fiction -- 19th century
The yearning tenderness of his strong, tranquil soul, had enfolded
Mrs. Carlyle, drawing her more and more into the penetralia of his
affection; but from the hour in which he learned her history he had
torn away the clinging tendrils of love,--had endeavored to expel her
from his heart, and to stifle its wail for the lost idol.
Week after week, month after month, he had driven every day within
sight of the blue smoke that curled above the trees at "Solitude," but
never even for an instant checked his horse to gaze longingly towards
the Eden whence he had voluntarily exiled himself.
There were hours when his heart ached for the sight of that white face
he had loved so madly, and the sound of the mournfully sweet
voice,--and his hand trembled at the recollection of the soft, cold,
snowy fingers, that once thrilled his palms; but he treated these
utterances of his heart as mercilessly as the hunter who cheers his
dogs in the chase where the death-cry of the victim rings above bark
and halloo.
No wall of division, no sea of separation, would have proved so
effectual, so insurmountable, as his own firm resolve that his earthly
path should never cross that of one whom God's statutes had set apart
until death annulled the decree. In this torturing ordeal he was
strengthened by the conviction that he alone suffered for his
folly,--that Mrs. Carlyle was a stranger to feelings that robbed him
of sleep, and clouded his days,--that the heaving tide of his devoted
love had broken against her frozen heart as idly as the surges of the
sea that die in foam upon the dreary, mysterious ruins of the Serapeon
at Pozzuoli.
In the silent watches of the night, as he pondered the brief,
beautiful vision that had so completely fascinated him, he reverently
thanked God that the woman he loved had never reciprocated his
affection, and was not sitting in the ashes of desolation, mourning
his absence. Striving to interest himself more and more in Stanley and
Jessie, who had become inordinately fond of him, his thoughts
continually reverted to Salome, and that subtle sympathy which springs
from the "fellow-being," that makes us "wondrous kind" to those whose
pangs are fierce as ours, began faintly and shyly, but surely, to
assert itself. A shadowy, intangible self-reproach brooded like a
phantom over his generous heart, when, amidst the uncertainty that
seemed to overhang the orphan's fate, he remembered the numberless
manifestations of almost idolatrous affection which he had coldly
repulsed.
In the earnest interest that day by day deepened in the absent girl,
there was no pitiable vanity, no inflated self-love, but a stern
realization of the anguish and humiliation that must now be her
portion, and a magnanimous eagerness to endeavor to cheer a heart
whose severest woes had sprung from his indifference.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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