"Why, the effect ought to be good, I suppose,--so the preachers say."
"I do not wish to know what the preachers say. I wish your own
opinion."
"Are you quite in earnest?"
"Quite."
"Such suffering, rightly taken, would strip life of its disguises, and
show it in its naked truth. It would teach the man to know himself and
to know others. It would awaken his sympathies, enlarge his mind, and
greatly expand his sphere of vision; teach him to hold present
pleasure and present pain in small account, and to look beyond them
into a future of boundless hopes and fears."
"Now," said Morton, "you have betrayed yourself."
"How have I betrayed myself?" asked his friend, in some discomposure.
"You have shown me the secrets of your own mind. You have given me a
glimpse of your own history, since we last met."
"And so, under pretence of confessing to me, you have been plotting to
make me confess to you!"
"No, you shall hear my confession. I have it now, such as it is, at my
tongue's end."
"I have no faith in you."
"Perhaps you will have still less when you have heard this great
secret. You remember me before I went away. I was a very exemplary
young gentleman,--quiet, orderly, well behaved,--of a studious
turn,--soberly and virtuously given."
"You give yourself an excellent character."
"And what should be the results of the discipline of a dungeon on such
a person?"
"Discipline would be a superfluity, considering your perfections."
"So I thought myself. Nevertheless, for four years, or so, I was shut
up, with nothing to look at but stone walls, under circumstances most
favorable for the culture of patience, resignation, forgiveness, and
all the Christian virtues; and yet the devil has never been half so
busy with me as since I came out; never whispered half so many
villanous suggestions into my ears, nor baited me with such scandalous
temptations."
"That is very strange," said Fanny Euston, who was looking at him
intently.
"For example," pursued Morton, "a little more than a year ago, in New
York, he said to me, 'Renounce all your old plans, and habits, and
antiquated scruples--reclaim your natural freedom--fling yourself
headlong into the turmoil of the world--chase whatever fate or fortune
throws in your way--enjoy the zest of lawless pleasures--launch into
mad adventure--embark on schemes of ambition--care nothing for the
past or the future--think only of the present--fear neither God nor
man, and follow your vagrant star wherever it leads you."
Morton knew that, restrained and governed as it might be, there was
quicksilver enough in his companion's veins to enable her to
understand what he had said, and prevent her being startled at it. But
he was by no means prepared for the close attack she proceeded to make
on him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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