"I am fortunate if that was your worst opinion. I believe I was under
a spell. Did you never dream--all people, I believe, have something in
common in their dreams--of being in some great peril, without power to
move hand or foot to escape?--of being under some desperate necessity
of speaking, without power to open your lips?--or of seeing before you
some splendid prize, without power to make even an effort to grasp it?
Something like that was my case." Here he came to an abrupt stop,
walked on a pace or two, then turned to his companion with a vehemence
which startled her--"Miss Leslie, you heard your friend praise me for
humanity--courage--what not? It was all a mistake--all a delusion. I
thought you were in the train. I was wild with agony; and when the
people were crowding after me, I thought that all had been for
nothing, because I had not saved you. I can hardly tell what I did; it
was mere blind instinct. I could have ridden into the fire, and
perhaps not have felt the burning. There _is_ a spell upon me. I am
changed--life is changed--every thing is changed. I scarcely know
myself. It mans me, and it makes me a child again. The world puts on a
new face; just as this sunset lights the earth with purple and
vermilion, and turns it to a fairy land. Forgive me; I don't know what
I am saying. I am in fear that all this brightness will change of a
sudden into winter and night, and cold, rocky commonplace. You know
what I would say. I have no words fit to say it. You are my judge, to
lift me up, or cast me down."
Here he stopped again abruptly, and looked at his companion in much
greater agitation than he would have felt if he had just thrown the
dice for life or death. She stood for a moment with her eyes fixed on
the earth, as if waiting for him to go on, then slowly raised them to
his face.
"You risked your life to save mine. You need not believe that I could
ever forget it."
Morton's heart sprang to his lips. Nature had not been liberal to him
in the gift of tongues, but the energy of his emotion supplied the
defect. Nor were his words thrown away; for with all its outward calm,
the nature that responded to them was earnest and ardent as his own.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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