L'ambition, l'amour, l'avarice, la haine,
Tiennent comme un forcat son esprit a la chaine.--_Boileau_.
Nobody knew Vinal but Vinal himself. _Know thyself_ was his favorite
maxim. He practised upon it, as he flattered himself, with a rigorous
and unsparing logic, applying the dissecting knife and microscope to
the secrets of his mind, probing, testing, studying, pitilessly
ripping up all that would fain hide itself. The aim of all this
scrutiny was, thoroughly to comprehend the machine, in order to direct
and perfect it to its highest efficiency.
Vinal, as men go, knew himself very well; and yet there were points of
his character which escaped him, or which, rather, he misnamed. He
knew perfectly that he was ambitious, selfish, unscrupulous: this he
confessed in his own ear, pluming himself much on his philosophic
candor. But he never would see that he was envious. In his mental map
of himself, envy was laid down as pride and emulation. The wrestlings
of human nature are not all of the sort figured in the Pilgrim's
Progress and set forth in the Catechism. Vinal had an ideal; he had
cherished it from boyhood, and battled ever since to realize it. He
would fain make himself the finished man of the world, the
unflinching, all-knowing, all-potential man of affairs, like a blade
of steel, smooth and polished, but keen, searching, resistless. This
was his aim; but nature was always balking him. He was the victim of a
constitutional timidity, his scourge from childhood. He had been known
to swoon outright, on being run away with in a chaise, and he never
could muster nerve enough to fire a gun. Against this defect his pride
rose in revolt. It thwarted him at every turn, and conflicted with all
his aspirations. In short, he could not endure its presence, and
fought against it with an iron energy of will. Thus his life was a
secret, unremitting struggle, whose mark was written on his pale,
nervous, resolute features. It's an ill wind that blows no good. This
painful warfare achieved a singular vigor and concentration of
character, and would have led to still better issues, had the
assailing force been marshalled under a better banner. A lofty purpose
may turn timidity to heroism; but a purpose like Vinal's is by no
means so efficacious, and the man remains, if not quite a coward, yet
something very like one.
It would have been well for Vinal if, like Morton, he had been born to
a fortune. In that case--for he had no aptitude for pleasure
hunting--his restless energies would probably have spurred him into
some creditable field of effort, natural science, mathematics, or
philology, to all of which he inclined. But Fate had not been so
propitious; and to achieve the task which she had forgotten was the
zenith of his aspirations.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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