Everard,--that was an outrage, that about sexual allurements; just
simply an outrage. She flushed at the remembrance of it; her whole body
seemed to flush hot. She felt as though never again would she be able to
bear him making love to her. He had spoilt that. But that was a dreadful
way to feel, that was destructive of the very heart of marriage. No, she
mustn't let herself,--she must stamp that feeling out; she must forget
what he had said. He couldn't really have meant it. He was still in a
temper. She oughtn't to have gone down. But how could she know? All this
was new to her, a new side of Everard. Perhaps, she thought, watching
the reflection of the flames flickering on the shiny, slippery oak
floor, only people with tempers should marry people with tempers. They
would understand each other, say the same sorts of things, tossing them
backwards and forwards like a fiery, hissing ball, know the exact time
it would last, and be saved by their vivid emotions from the deadly
hurt, the deadly loneliness of the one who couldn't get into a rage.
Loneliness.
She lifted her head and looked round the room.
No, she wasn't lonely. There was still----
Suddenly she went to the bookshelves, and began pulling out the books
quickly, hungrily reading their names, turning over their pages in a
kind of starving hurry to get to know, to get to understand, Vera....
XXI
Meanwhile Wemyss had gone into the drawing-room till such time as his
wife should choose to allow him to have his own library to himself
again.
For a long while he walked up and down it thinking bitter things, for he
was very angry. The drawing-room was a big gaunt room, rarely used of
recent years. In the early days, when people called on the newly arrived
Wemysses, there had been gatherings in it,--retaliatory festivities to
the vicar, to the doctor, to the landlord, with a business acquaintance
or two of Wemyss's, wife appended, added to fill out. These festivities,
however, died of inanition. Something was wanting, something necessary
to nourish life in them. He thought of them as he walked about the
echoing room from which the last guest had departed years ago. Vera, of
course. Her fault that the parties had left off. She had been so slack,
so indifferent. You couldn't expect people to come to your house if you
took no pains to get them there. Yet what a fine room for entertaining.
The grand piano, too. Never used. And Vera who made such a fuss about
music, and pretended she knew all about it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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