English fiction -- 19th century; Historical fiction; Italy -- History -- 476-774 -- Fiction
'I understand,' said Basil in himself; and during the rest of the day
he strove with all the force of his will to recover calm and pious
thoughts. In the night that followed he slept little; it was now the
image of Veranilda that hovered before him and kept him wakeful,
perturbed with a tender longing. God, it might be, would pardon him his
offence against the Divine law; but could he look for forgiveness from
Veranilda? When he thought of the king's last words he was lured with
hope; when he reasoned upon this hope, it turned to a mocking
emptiness. And through the next day, and the next again, his struggle
still went on. He worked and prayed as usual, and read the Psalms of
penitence not once only, but several times in the four-and-twenty
hours; that other psalm, to which he had turned for strengthening of
the spirit, he no longer dared to open. And all this time he scarce
spoke with any one; not that the brethren looked upon him with less
kindness, or held him at a distance, but the rebuke of his own
conscience kept him mute. He felt that his communion with these holy
men was in seeming only, and it shamed him to contrast their quiet
service of the Eternal with the turbid worldliness of his own thoughts.
During these days the abbot was not seen. Venturing, at length, when he
happened to find himself alone with Marcus, to speak of this, he learnt
that the holy father was not in his wonted health; Marcus added that
the disorder had resulted from the visit of the king. After Totila's
departure, Benedict had passed hours in solitary prayer, until a
faintness came upon him, from which he could not yet recover. Basil was
turning away sadly, when the monk touched his arm, and said in a
troubled voice:
'Many times he has spoken of you, dear brother.'
'Would,' replied Basil, 'that I were worthy of his thoughts.'
'Did he think you unworthy,' said Marcus, 'he would not grieve that you
must so soon go from among us.'
'The holy father has said that I must soon leave you?'
Marcus nodded gravely, and walked away.
Another week passed. By stern self-discipline, Basil had fixed his
thoughts once more on things spiritual, and the result appeared in a
quiet contentment. He waited upon the will of Benedict, which he had
come to regard as one with the will of God. And at length the expected
summons came. It was on the evening of Saturday, after vespers; the
abbot had been present at the office, and, as he went forth from the
oratory, he bade Basil follow him. They entered the tower, and
Benedict, who walked feebly, sat for some moments silent in his chair,
as if he had need of repose before the effort of speaking. Through the
window streamed a warm light, illumining the aged face turned thither
with eyes which dreamt upon the vanishing day.
'So you are no longer impatient to be gone?' were the abbot's first
words, spoken in a voice which had not lost its music, though weakness
made it low.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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