Very woman (Sixtine) : $b a cerebral novelGourmont, Remy de
General
Very woman (Sixtine) : $b a cerebral novel
Gourmont, Remy de
French fiction -- Translations into English
"Precisely," interrupted Sixtine, "I am and was a woman, and I
committed the crimes of a woman who does not know the meaning of the
word 'duty.' I was taught it, I forgot it, never having understood it."
"If you have forgotten it," said Entragues, "I will not try to have you
learn it anew, before knowing you better. Duty for me consists in doing
my work and cutting down all the obstacles of life; I do not know what
duty is to another."
"Yes, you are an intellectual. Some men are and many might become
intellectuals, but it is not possible for a woman. Those women who have
the air of interesting themselves in things of the mind do so only
through pretense of imitation. The silver circle of sensation clasps
them and sentiment remains sentiment to them. I have been told this and
you are right in thinking that I could not have found it out myself;
besides, it is a matter of indifference to me, since, like other women,
I seek only happiness."
"And you are not happy."
"No, but I can be. I live for that: it is my work, I shall pursue it to
my last hour and I am quite tranquil."
"You will give me your secret," said Entragues.
"In a moment," said Sixtine. "If an adventure like the first came to
me, it would be myself, not the other, who would die. You have perhaps
learned that when any one speaks to me of love, it is not only the
peace of my heart which is at stake, but the light of my eyes. This
should give me, I believe, the right of choosing: well, I will not
choose. Thus, I shall have nothing with which to reproach myself, if I
am shipwrecked. I shall have usurped neither the speaking-trumpet nor
the helm, I will be the passenger who sleeps in the ship and sails with
closed eyes. And to think," she added, as if speaking to herself, "that
it needs but eight days for me to be at sea, embarked towards reefs, in
a capsizing ship and under an inexperienced command! Isn't that what
awaits me? I prefer therefore not to set sail, life is not painful to
me; but I shall depart, for some one will lift me from the ground and
some one's arms ... whose?... will place me on the cushions amid the
rolling waves.... Ah! I am capable of having a very happy voyage, a
voyage of real pleasure through oceans full of sunshine with a calm and
cool port, and smiles of good souls, for my destination, to the very
end...."
"It shall be so," said Entragues.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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